


A Powerless Predicament

by Bathenafan14



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24063607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bathenafan14/pseuds/Bathenafan14
Summary: Athena hasn't had much time to begin to process the events that left her in the hospital when she's given surprising news that may change everything.**spoilers for 3x17
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash
Comments: 262
Kudos: 184





	1. Chapter 1

Bobby stood up yet again and started pacing. He couldn't sit still, not when Athena's life hung in the balance. The imagine of her slumped against the wall, bloodied and barely conscious wouldn't leave his mind. The gun shot he heard rang in his head shaking every nerve in his body. Her grunts of pain as she was slammed against the wall repeatedly tore his heart into piece. Bobby felt the urge to throw up again. Knowing it was a possibility and experiencing it were two very different things. Of all the times they had talked about the possiblity that one of them might not come home after their shift, nothing prepared Bobby for what he had gone through tonight. Nothing could have prepared him for hearing Athena in distress, hearing Athena fight for her life, and hearing a gun go off not knowing if she had been the one firing the shot or being shot. Vomit burned in his throat as he shoved it down. Bobby wrung his hands together, thinking about how satisfying it woud be to wring the neck of the piece of shit who did this to his wife. Bobby had seen the bastard. His hands had tightened around the axe, and for a moment Bobby had thought about delivering a blow, but then he had been called to his wife's side.

"Bobby." Elaine hurried across the room. "I came as soon as I heard." She was dressed in normal clothes, obviously she wasn't on duty tonight.

Boby was relieved to see a familiar face. "Still waiting." Was all Bobby could say. 

Elaine nodded. Bobby was barely holding it together. She walked over to talk to the other officers. She had heard some of what happened, but wondered if any of them could tell her more. Elaine spoke quietly with them occaisionally looking over at Bobby. Her eyes snapped back to the officer talking to her when she found out Bobby's team had been the responding fire team. Elaine stayed with the officers giving Bobby his space.

Bobby rubbed his neck trying to offer himself some comfort. He felt helpess, powerless. All he could do was wait. He had sent Hen back to the station. They needed her for the rest of the shift. He knew there was a group of officers waiting with him, but they gave Bobby his space. One of them had brought Bobby some water but it remained untouched on the table. No one spoke. They just waited. Bobby'd been here before. After the apartment fire. Dread filled Bobby making it hard for him to breathe. He couldn't think like that. He couldn't lose her. He dropped heavily back into his chair. The wait was unbearable. Bobby just wanted to know that she was going to be okay. He wanted to hold her and protect her. His mind went back thinking over the last week. They had barely seen each other. He remembered telling Michael at dinner the other night that texts and post its had been the extent of his communication with Athena that week. He laughed it off as a joke then, but now he regretted it. He wish he had seen her, talked to her, held her, kissed her more. He couldn't remember the last time he said I love you to her face. What if…Bobby held his breath. He couldn't do that. He couldn't think about losing her. It was too painful. 

Bobby was staring at the ground so he didn't see the doctor approach. Elaine quietly pointed to Bobby, identifying him as Athena's husband. The small group of officers stood together waiting to hear the news. Elaine and the doctor approached Bobby.

"Captain Nash." A voice pulled Bobby from his thoughts.

Bobby stood up so fast he felt dizzy. "Ho-How is she?" The pain evident in his voice. 

"She's got a broken rib and a broken arm, but no internal injuries. She's pretty banged up, but she's going to be just fine." The doctor spoke gently.

Bobby let out a long, slow breath, "Thank you doctor." Bobby was so happy he might cry. He saw the officers exchanging hugs and smiles. He turned and hugged Elaine taking the woman a little by surprise. 

"She's been asking for you." Dr. Calloway said. "I can take you to see her now." Bobby tried to prepare himself. He didn't know what condition she'd be in. He thought it couldn't be worse than when they found her. "She's on pain killers so she's going to be a little groggy." The doctor warned him before opening the door.

  
"Athena" Bobby didn't hesistate to hurry to her bed side. He gently picked up her hand. "Baby I'm here."

"Bobby." Athena muttered. She slowly turned her head in the direction of his voice. 

"It's me. I'm here." Bobby ignored the tears running down his face. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'm here."

Athena lifted her hand to his face and attempted to dry the tears. "I'm okay." She told him. What she really meant was I'm alive. She wasn't even close to okay. 

"I love you." He choked out between sobs. "I love you."

"I love you too." Athena felt herself getting emotional. 

Bobby doesn't let go of her hand. He can't. He needs to touch her, hold her. She's alive, but he's still processing that. 

Sometime after Michael and the kids left with the promise to return the next day a dcotor knocked on the door.

"Mrs. Nash I'm Dr. Sandoval. I'm an OBGYN."

Bobby went completely still. He didn't understand what she was doing here. Unless…Athena wasn't… was she? "Athena." Bobby went pale and looked at her.

"He didn't sexually assault me." Athena said to Bobby. She turned to Dr. Sandoval, "I'm afraid I don't understand why you want to talk to me." She also didn't know why this doctor was here.

The doctor nodded. "I'm not here to do an exam or anything I'm just here to talk to you about your test results." 

"I don't understand." Athena didn't know why her main doctor hadn't given her the information. 

"Her doctor already went through all the tests with us." Bobby said. He didn't mean to be rude, but after the night Athena had gone through the last thing Athena needed was more information from another doctor.

Dr. Sandoval quickly came to the conclusion that she was going to be telling them news they didn't know. She looked at Athena, meaning no disrespect to Bobby but Athena was her patient, "Dr. Calloway asked me to come speak to you because of your test results."

"Okay." Athena didn't totally understand what that meant, but as long as she was just talking and not doing an exam Athena was willing to give Dr. Sandoval her attention. "Mrs. Nash your lab results indicate that you're pregnant."

"I'm sorry." Athena stared blankly at her. She had to be hullicenating or misheard the doctor. She wasn't pregnant. She would have noticed right? Bobby just looked between the doctor and Athena.

"The elevated levels of hormones found in your results confirm that you are in fact pregnant." The doctor kindly repeated. Dr. Sandoval wasn't new to this type of reaction. She often had to break the news to an expectant mother who didn't know she was pregnant. She cleared her throat, "I will give you some time and come back in the morning to talk to you some more."

"Thank you." Athena replied still processing.

"Athena." Bobby was the first to find his voice. "How could you not tell me?" He wasn't mad. In fact he wanted to jump for joy. It was great news. "Athena you're pregnant!" The joy in his voice crushed Athena. He froze when he saw the blank expression on her face. "You didn't know."

"I'm pregnant." The words barely made it out if her mouth. She said it so softly Bobby wasn't sure she had even said anything. This was the last thing Athena needed. How did this happen? How did she not notice? Athena was terrified. The excitement in Bobby's voice crushed her because she didn't know if she wanted this. She never expected to get pregnant again. If you had asked her five minutes ago, before she found out the news, Athena would have said she still had no interest in having another baby. Did that change now that she was actually pregnant or did she just want to avoid the devestated look on Bobby's face when she told him she didn't want to have this baby?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena's continues to digest the news.

Athena opened her eyes. She groaned feeling a sharp pain in her ribs and arm. She felt stiff, but couldn't move. The sharp pain lulled itself into a throbbing pain, making it easier for Athena to grimace through. The dim light from the hallway provided some light. She looked over and saw Bobby fast asleep on the cot beside her bed. Athena stared at the wall. The medications and exhaustion were trying to pull her back to sleep, but she resisted. Athena couldn't stop thinking about what Dr. Sandoval had said to her. She was pregnant. The thought still terrifed her no matter how many times she said it to herself. Athena didn't know what about being pregnant scared her most. Was it that it wasn't planned? That she was over 50? Or was it how thrilled Bobby was? Bobby… A smiled spread across her lips and Athena looked back over at his sleeping form. The smile on his mouth hadn'tleft since he found out she was pregnant. Athena knew he was estatic. 

Athena's stomach growled and she realized then that she didn't have dinner. She pressed the pager button and waited for a nurse.

"Mrs. Nash." The nurse smiled kindly at her speaking softly so not to disturb her husband, "What can I do for you?"

"I just realized I haven't eaten since lunch. Would it be possible to get something to eat?" Athena asked quietly.

"Absolutely. I'll get you something." He left. 

Athena's thoughts drifted back to her dilemna while she waited. What do I want? The question circled in her head for several minutes. Athena sighed unable to answer it. She closed her eyes a moment to clear her head. Taking away everything but herself and Bobby, Athena tried to answer the question without any of the complicating factors. Yes, she could see herself and Bobby holding their child. However, once Athena started adding other factors the answer became blurry. There were so many things to consider, it wasn't as simple as picturing herself and Bobby with a baby. Athena honestly didn't know what she wanted.

Bobby stirred when the light was switched on. He was wide awake in a matter of seconds, a skill he perfected from being woken by the sound of the alarm at work. "Are you okay?" He asked moving back to the chair he had vacated when he laid down.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Athena said. "I never had dinner and I got hungry."

"Don't apologize." Bobby said yawning. "Having an appetite is good."

"Anything else you need Mrs. Nash?" The nurse asked making sure she was all set.

"I'm good. Thank you." Athena replied.

"Page if you need anything." He said shutting the door behind him.

"Did you get any sleep yet?" Bobby asked her.

Athena slowly started eating. "Some. The meds are making me sleepy, but I couldn't sleep too well."

"Is it the pain?" Bobby hated to see her hurting.

Athena nodded. "And I've got alot on my mind."

"The baby news." Bobby ventured a guess pretty sure he was right. Athena nodded and didn't look at him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked cautiously.

"I…I don't want to hurt you." Athena said quietly, pausing to take a bite. "I know you want this."

"But what do you want Athena?" He asked. He felt his heart rate go up. He honestly had no idea what she was thinking. Bobby noticed earlier she didn't seem as happy about the news, but it was a big surprise to both of them and she had already gone through so much that night.

"I don't know." Athena whispered. "I don't know what I want." She felt tears start to gather in her eyes. "I know you want this Bobby. I know having a baby would mean everything to you. I… I just don't know if I can do it." Athena broke down completely. 

"Hey." Bobby took the tray from her and moved it onto the bedside table. Then he squeezed himself onto the bed beside her. He ignored the pang in his heart her words caused. "It's okay." Bobby gently put his arms around her, "You're in pain, and you're scared, and I know this is the last thing you want to be dealing with right now." Athena's emotional, mental, and phyical recovery would be hard enough, without the additional complications of a pregnancy. Bobby would give anything for her to not have to think about this on top of everything else. Even if she hadn't been hurt, Bobby knew she would have had mixed feelings when she found out about the pregnancy. "I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling. Please know that I love you no matter what." He started stroking her hair. "I will be by your side whatever you chose. You don't have to make a decision tonight or tomorrow. We'll get all the information and then you can decide on your own time, when you're ready." 

Athena nodded against his shoulder. Bobby always knew what to say to her. But that almost made her feel worse. Bobby would tell her he would support her through anything, whatever choice she made because that that was who he was. He told her it was her decision, but would he hold it against her?What happened in a year, or 2 or 5? Would he come to resent her for ending the pregnancy if that's what she decided to do? Of course it was her body and her choice, but Bobby would do anything for her, did she need to do this for him? Athena knew it was probably unlikely that she would get pregnant again. This was probably their best, if not last chance to have a baby. She gripped his shirt in her hand and tried to push away the thoughts. It was too much for her to handle right now. She needed more time and more information before she could decide. 

  
"Good morning Mrs. Nash." A new nurse came in.

"Mm." Athena replied. The nurse was far too chipper and Athena got too little sleep to appreciate her bubbly personality. 

"How are you feeling this morning?" The nurse checked Athena's vitals.

"Fine." Athena answered. Hoping to get this over with as quick as possible.

"Did you sleep okay?" The nurse toned down her bubbliness a little bit.

"I slept fine."

"She was up three times complaining about the pain." Bobby cut in. Athena gave an exasperated sigh but said nothing.

"Dr. Calloway will be in shortly. I'll be back soon with your breakfast." The nurse left.

  
"Good morning, Sergeant." Dr. Calloway walked in with Dr. Sandoval. "Scale of 1-10. One being pain free 10 being worst pain."

"Four." Athena replied. Bobby coughed and Athena gave him a look.

"Athena, I need you to be honest with me." Dr. Calloway said gently. He could understand why she struggled to show vulnerability and pain.

"The pain comes in waves." Athena responded.

"Give me a range." Dr. Calloway requested.

"At it's best a 4. At it's worse an 7." Athena answered truthfully this time. She looked at Dr. Calloway, not at Bobby.

"What hurts most?"

"My rib cage."

"That's to be expected with a broken rib and several bruised ones. I'm just going to do a quick exam." 

Athena winced biting down on her lip. She wasn't ready to admit to how much pain she was in. The bruises hadn't changed much since last night, not that anyone was expecting them too. She glared at Bobby when he told her to breathe as Dr. Calloway examined her rib. Athena couldn't cry if she wanted to. The stabbing pain took the air from her lungs.

"I'm all done." Dr. Calloway gave her a sympathetic look. He knew the exam was painful, but it was necessary. "I'll check back with you in a few hours." 

  
Dr. Sandoval walked Athena through all of her options. Athena just listened and nodded. She felt Bobby's go limp in hers when Dr. Sandoval mentioned abortion. Athena glanced at Bobby and noticed he looked a bit pale. She turned back her attention back to Dr. Sandoval as she asked Athena a question.

"Do you know approximately how far along you are?"

Athena thinks it over. All the days seemed to blend together. "I don't know." 

Bobby handed Athena her phone, "I know you keep track."

"Right." Athena nodded and opened her app. "It's the 27th?" Athena said aloud. She hadn't realized it was already the end of the month. "I'm two weeks late." She showed Dr. Sandoval.

"So you're about 7-8 weeks pregnant." Dr. Sandoval made a note. "I would like to do an ultrasound."

Athena moved uncomfortably, "Can we do it tomorrow? I'm not feeling too well today." Athena was tired and anxious and not certainly not ready for that yet. An ultrasound would make it far too real.

"We can do it when ever you want. There's no rush." Dr. Sandoval would like to do it sooner rather than later, but she understood this was a delicate situation. She had years of experience reading her patients, it was clear to her that Athena was still processing and maybe hadn't fully accepted the news yet.

"Doctor." Bobby said as Dr. Sandoval made her way towards the door. He glanced at Athena then back to the doctor. "Is there um, any chance the baby was hurt in the attack." Bobby held his breath while he waited for a response. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Athena's gaze shift back to the doctor, she was curious too.

Dr. Sandoval shook her head, "This early on the biggest concern is that the trauma might be too much on the body leading to a miscarriage." She replied. She looked at Athena, "The best thing right now for you is rest." Athena nodded.

"Thanks doctor." Bobby said. That settled some of his fear, but not all of it.

Athena drifted back to sleep not long after. Bobby sat in the chair at her side. A few hours later she was awake again. 

  
"Mrs. Nash I have your lunch." Nurse Jackie came in.  
So far she was Athena's favorite. 

"Thank you Jackie. Do you know where my husband went?" Athena glanced at Bobby's vacate chair.

"He just left. He said told me he was just heading home for about an hour and he'd be back shortly. He asked me to tell you to text or call if you wanted anything from home."

"Can I get you anything else?' Jackie asked.

"Is Dr. Sandoval around? I was hoping to ask her a few questions quick questions." Athena replied.

Jackie didnt miss Athena's glance at Bobby's vacate seat. She understood what Athena was asking. "I believe she is. I'll go page her."

"Thank you." Athena said again. Athena picked up her phone and texted Bobby a list of a few items she'd like from home.

"Jackie tells me you had some questions for me." Dr. Sandoval said after shutting the door behind her.

Athena asked her to explain some of the possible risks and complications again. She had been a bit out of it the first time Dr. Sandoval had gone through all the information. The pain in her head and medication coupled with the initial shock of the news meant Athena hadn't heard much of what Dr. Sandoval had said earlier. 

"Is there anything else I can tell you?" Dr. Sandoval asked. She got a feeling Athena had waited until she had a moment of her time without Mr. Nash present.

Athena nodded. "If I don't have this baby, what are the are the chances that I get pregnant again?"

"Without more tests I wouldn't be able to give you a very good estimate. It would be a better question for your regular OB."

"Can you give me a general guess? I'm not looking for anything concrete."

"General for a woman your age, natural conception is incredibly rare. However, there are other options, adoption, IVF. If this isn't right for you now it doesn't have to be your last chance."

"And you're sure the attack didn't endanger the baby?" Athena couldn't help but worry.

Dr. Sandoval shook her head. "We've already modified your meds. I'm not going to lie to you. A successful pregnancy at your age is not easy. The risk of complications and miscarriage are much higher. But you're in good health, current situation notwithstanding, and if you decide, there's no reason you can't have a healthy baby." Athena nodded. "If you'd like I can get you some literature."

"I'd appreciate that." Athena replied. "Thank you doctor."

"Of course. Let me know if there's anything else you need."

  
Jackie came in a little while after Bobby returned. "Dr. Sandoval sent these over for you."

"Thank you." Athena took them from her and Jackie left.

"What are those?" Bobby asked.

"Some pamphlets and information about having a baby at my age." Athena handed him a few pamphlets and papers.

"So have you decided then?" Bobby asked nervously. 

"Not yet, I wanted some more information." She gestured to the papers. "I think we need to have a seriois conversation about this."

"Okay." Bobby agreed. The idea of a baby was starting to sink in. After hearing from the doctor, Bobby was starting to realize that this may not have been as straightforward as he thought. Bobby's phone chimed several times. "The team is on their way." He told Athena reading the messages in the group chat from his crew each saying they were on their way.

"Here." Athena handed him the papers that were in her lap. "Stick these in the drawer for now. We can look at them once they leave." She didn't want any one else to know. Athena prepared herself to see her friends for the first time since they found her last night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena makes a decision.

"Hey." Buck knocked nervously on the door. 

"Buck, get in here." Athena smiled.

"I brought you some flowers."

"Hydrangeas and roses, my favorites." Athena smiled. She gestured to the table where he could put them down.

"Bobby told me." Buck gave a small smile. Athena glanced at her husband. Bobby gave Athena a happy smile. 

"Karen wanted to come." Hen hugged Athena, "She wasn't feeling good. She sends her best."

"Aw, it's okay." Athena assured her.

An uncomfortable silence settled after everyone said hello. Athena didn't have anything to say to them. And none of them really knew what to say to Athena after hearing her fight for her life the night before. 

"You can all stop staring at me. I'm going to be fine."   
Athena did her best not to roll her eyes or squirm uncomfortably under their worried gazes.

"Sorry I'm late. I made a quick stop." Maddie entered the room. "Here." She handed Athena a small paper bag then sat down on the arm rest of Chimney's chair.

"Bless you if you brought me real food." Athena eyed the bag.

"If you count a donut as real food." Maddie shrugged.

"You are my favorite." Athena said automatically. She reached in and pulled out the donut. "This is the best thing I've eaten all day." Athena sighed. She looked at all their amused faces. "Next time bring me food and you can be my favorites." Athena shared a smile with Maddie.

"So when do you get out of here?" Buck asked.

"Not for a few more days." Athena would have been more annoyed if she wasn't pregnant. Having to stay for a few days bought her some time to really think about what she wanted, time with her husband to talk about it, and an army of doctors and nurses to support her. 

"Call me if you need me to drive the get away car." Buck joked. "Although, the doctors and nurses are probably sick of seeing my face around here, so they might help us escape just to get rid of me." The rest of the team and Maddie shot him unamused looks.   
"Kidding...Geez." Buck recoiled in his seat.

"While we are all glad we aren't huddled around your hospital bed again Buck, don't give Athena any ideas about making a break for it." Hen told him.

"I'm not going anywhere." Athena assured them.

"I give it three days before you start harassing the nurses to discharge you." Hen teased turning back towards her friend. 

"If she wants to get out of this bed she's got to go through me." Bobby said firmly. 

"Well." Chimney sighed. "That settles it. Enjoy your stay Athena. I think Bobby will make you stay in that bed for a week." He laughed. Chimney was sure Bobby would do anything Athena told him, but when it came to her wellbeing not even her attempts to schmooze him would make him bend.

"As soon as the doctors approve, I'll let you get up." Bobby squeezed her hand. They shared a look with a deeper meaning than their friends realized. They knew her rest was about more than her wellbeing.

"You just better keep yourselves in line." Athena eyed them, pausing to give Buck an extra long look.

"I will be on my best behavior." Buck straightened up, "Bobby won't have to reprimand me once."

"Or drag you back from trying to dig through 45 feet of mud?" Athena teased glancing at Eddie.

"I'll remind him that he'll have to answer to you." Eddie told Athena.

"What about my authority?" Bobby asked feigning hurt feelings. "I can still pull rank over all of you."

"But Cap," Hen cut in, "Isn't it much more fun to see Buck quiver in his boots when he gets a lecture from Athena?" Everyone laughed. 

Athena's eyelids began to droop. Bobby made motion towards the door with his head and their friends wrapped up their visit.

"Thank you for the flowers Buckaroo." Athena said when he hugged her.

"Feel better soon." He told her.

"Bye y'all." Athena lifted her left hand and waved.

"I have something for you." Bobby told her. Before she could ask what it was Bobby took her left and slipped her rings back into their spot. 

Athena smiled down at them. "I was wondering where they went." 

"They were on the bedside table. The doctors took them off when you first came in. I didn't know if you took them off for comfort or if your finger was bruised and they wouldn't fit."

"I'm glad to have them back." She raised her hand to his cheek. 

"Get some sleep." He told her. 

Bobby picked up his book but after a few minutes he set his book down and pulled out the information the nurse had brought in earlier. He began reading through it. Fear started to mix with the joy and excitement in Bobby's mind. Scary words, medical jargon, jumped of the pages and swirled in his mind. His thoughts drifted from the baby to Athena. He wanted her to be safe. The growing list of complications not only for the pregnancy, but her health weighed heavily on him. Athena was right, they needed to have a serious conversation. Bobby thought maybe he let his excitement get the best of him. Now he had read some literature he was more cautious in his enthusiasm. He wanted what was best for Athena. 

  
"How are you feeling?" Bobby asked helping Athena sit up later so she could have dinner.

"Okay." Athena said. She knew better than to use the word fine. Bobby knew by her tone that she was hurting, but not willing to admit to how much.

"How's the pain?" He asked directly.

"Better than this morning." Athena replied. "It's bearable." She elaborated when she saw the look he was giving her.

"Athena, it's okay to admit your hurting. No one is going to think less of you, least of all me."

"Really, it's okay." Athena told him. She knew he didn't totally believe her but he dropped it. Yes, she was in pain and was going to be in pain for the foreseeable future but she really was okay. It was going to be some time before she was totally pain free. And that was the physical pain. The emotional trauma would last longer. "What's on your mind?" She noticed he looked a bit off.

"I was just reading through some of the literature while you were sleeping. There's alot of scary complications."

"Any pregnancy has its risks." Athena pointed out.

"The risks are exponentially higher because of your age." Bobby told her

"I'm aware." Athena nodded. "I spoke to Dr. Sandoval some more earlier while you were at home. I wanted some more information. I also had some questions. I didn't fully understand everything when she talked to us. Part of it was the medical jargon, part of it was my headache." She handed him the empty dinner tray to set aside.

"What did she say?" Normally Bobby wouldn't be too nosy about her personal conversations with her own doctor but there was something in her expression that gave him an uneasy feeling.

"Natural conception at my age is quite a surprise. Only about 1% of women over 50 get pregnant. And 50% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage." Athena informed him.

Bobby nodded. "I read that." He took her hand. "Wh-what are you saying?"

"I'm saying it's incredible that I'm even pregnant. Nothing about this pregnancy is going to be a normal pregnancy. It will be hard for me, the baby, our family."

"I know." Bobby said calmly. 

"I-I know you don't believe in abortion." Athena said quietly.

"I don't." Bobby answered. "But I also respect your choice."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it's true." Bobby told her.

"In a year or two or five you won't resent me? I…" Athena tore her eyes from his.

"You what?" Bobby asked gently. 

"I don't know how you couldn't hold this against me. I'm not saying that's my choice, but if it is, how do we get through this as a couple?"

"If you haven't decided why are we talking about this?"

"Because I need to know that if I don't have this baby it doesn't mean the end of us. I need to know that we'll be okay. I can't do this one way or the other without you."

"Till death do us part. I'm not leaving you." Bobby said firmly.

"That's not the same thing." Athena shook her head. She remembered how miserable she had felt in her last marriage after Michael had come out to her. She didn't want to repeat decades of that awkwardness with Bobby. The walking on eggshells, avoiding each other, barely speaking, that wasn't a relationship she wanted to have again.

"Athena, look at me." Bobby waited till she was looking at him. "I promise I will not resent you for making either choice. You have my word. I will love you and support you no matter what. If you decide not to have this baby I…I will hold you hand for the procedure no questions asked. Yes, I would love to have a baby with you and raise our child together, but I don't want to lose you. The statistics can be scary and I know this is a total shock for both of us. I think I can safely say neither of us expected to be in this position. I don't want you to feel pressured one way or another because of my beliefs." Athena glanced down. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Athena smiled up at him him. "You are everything. And I love you so damn much. Our baby is so lucky to have you for a father."

"Are you kidding? Wait till they meet their mom." Bobby beamed at her. A silence fell as each of their words sunk in. Both of them had just acknowledged out loud, to each other, that they were parents to a baby Athena was carrying. "Athena." Bobby said slowly.

"I needed to be sure we would be okay either way. I'm scared and this will be a challenge."

"You've got me." Bobby assured her. "Always.

"Bobby." She put her hand on his cheek.

"What?" He placed his hand over hers.

"We're having a baby."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena and Bobby have the ultrasound.

"Hi babies." Athena's face lit up when her two older children walked in. Bobby smiled at her above their heads. She didn't know how he could be so cheerful after sleeping uncomfortably in the hospital with her for two days.

"How are you feeling today?" May sat down on the bed beside her.

"Better." Athena shrugged.

"Does it still hurt?" Harry asked his eyes not quite reaching her face.

"It does. But it's alright." Athena smiled at him. She knew he was still scared. "Your bright faces make me forget all about it." Bobby had told her Michael said Harry was asking alot of questions. 

"So I'm guessing you won't be home by tomorrow?' May asked slowly even though she already knew the answer.

"I'm sorry May." Athena said sadly.

"It's okay." Maybe brightened up, "I'll talk to Darius and we'll make some adjustments."

"Everything else is going to be just as you planned." Bobby assured his teenage stepdaughter. He knew how much she was meticulously planning her prom day.

"The rest of the day will look the same, we'll just do pictures here instead of at the house." May smiled at him satisifed with her new plan. 

"Perfect." Bobby agreed. He noticed a look on Athena's face, but couldn't quite figure out what it meant.

"I got an A on my math test." Harry beamed.

"Hey, that's fantastic." Bobby gave him a high five.

"Well done sweetheart." Athena grinned, but inside she felt a pang in her heart. It had only been 2 days but she felt like her family's lives were going on without her. 

Athena felt she missed enough with her work, now she was stuck in the hospital while her kids were winding down the school year, and her daughter was about to go to prom. She felt Bobby's hand on her shoulder and looked at him. She could see in his face that he knew something was bothering her and he was trying to offer his support without even knowing what was troubling her.

  
Bobby cleared his throat. He noticed Dr. Calloway in the doorway. "Let's go get your mom some breakfast." Bobby shooed Harry and May out of the room.

"Bear claw please!" Athena called after them. Bobby turned and nodded at her, acknowledging her request.

"Scale of one to ten, how are we feeling this morning?" Doctor Calloway asked as he started his exam.

"Five or six." Athena winced. "Except when you do that." She winced as he felt her rib cage.

"Any headache, blurry vision, or dizziness?"

"A little headache, like a throbbing pain. It's a dull pain, sort of like in the background. No blurry vision or dizziness." Athena answered.

"Your sitches look good." He commented.

"When can I go home?"

"Likely on Sunday." Dr. Calloway replied. Athena nodded. "I'll be back this afternoon." 

"When can I get up and take a walk? Anything to get out of this bed for a few minutes."

"This afternoon." Dr. Calloway replied. "We'll get you out if this bed." 

"Thank you." Athena was relieved. As sore as she was, Athena knew a little walk would do her good. Dr. Calloway nodded and left.

Dr. Sandoval came in moments later. "Athena, how you doing today?" She noticed Bobby's absence, "Is Bobby out?"

"He took the kids to get some breakfast. Dr. Calloway was just here." Athena explained. "I'm doing alright."

"I just wanted to come check on you. See if you've decided on the ultrasound."

Athena nodded. Bobby and I talked extensively yesterday. I'm going to go forward with the pregancy."

"I can get an ultrasound in here in an hour, if that is okay with you?"

"Can we do it this afternoon. We haven't told the kids, or anyone else yet, and the kids going to be here for a little while longer.

"Of course." Dr. Sandoval consulted her tablet. "I can do 2:30?"

"Okay." Athena agreed.

"Something wrong?" Bobby watched Athena pick at her lunch he had picked up for her in addition to the bear claw.

"No it's fine." Athena went back to pushing the salad around with her fork. "I'm just anxious about the ultrasound."

"It's going to be fine." Bobby tried to assure her.

"You don't know that." Athena replied.

"I do." Bobby nodded. "Because no matter what we have each other."

"As soon as we see that picture it's going to feel real." Athena said. She remembered the feeling of disbelief and awe she felt when she saw the first ultrasound of May and Harry. Even though she knew she was pregnant before the ultrasound, that moment made it surreal.

"Think about what you just said." Bobby grinned. "We're going to see our baby."

Athena smiled. "Our baby." She repeated. The words sent a shiver up her spine. A part of her still couldn't believe she was pregnant.

  
"Okay, Athena." Dr. Sandoval came in with a nurse and the ultrasound machine. "Are we ready?"

Athena looked at Bobby and took his hand. "We're ready." Bobby squeezed her hand. He held her hand between both of his trying to convey as much support and comfort as he could. Bobby was excited and a little nervous. On the otherhand Athena seemed more nervous than excited.

"This will be a little cold." Dr. Sandoval warned as she put the gel on Athena.

Athena shivered. "Definitely a little chilly." She felt Bobby's thumb stroke the back of her hand.

"Okay. Let's take a look." Dr. Sandoval took the wand and placed it on Athena. She tilted the screen towards herself so she could see it better. There was a moment of silence. "Just a moment." She told them. Then they could hear the heartbeat.

"Wow." Bobby's mouth went dry. He was listening to the heart beat of his child. Their child. Athena really was pregnant.

"That's our baby." Athena breathed. The wave of reality washed over her as the rhythmic pulsing of the baby's heartbeat filled her ears. That was the sound of beating heart that belonged to a little life flourishing inside her.

"Oh!" Dr. Sandoval looked at the monitor in surprise. 

"What?" Athena felt panic start to form in the pit of her stomach. She felt her heartrate jump. Bobby squeezed her hand.

"Nothing is wrong." Dr. Sandoval put a reassuring hand on Athena's shoulder. Her smile eased Athena's nervous. "Just give me one second." She turned back to the monitor and in few moments later they heard a heartbeat. "There." Dr. Sandoval said before silence fell and the heartbeat was the only sound in the room.

"Strong heartbeat. That's good." Bobby looked between Athena and Dr. Sandoval.

Athena glanced at Bobby before turning to the doctor. "Our baby is okay?" 

"What you are hearing right now is a second heartbeat." She turned the monitor so Bobby and Athena could see it. "Not one baby, but two. Congratulations, you're having twins."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena and Bobby react to the news.

A pin could have been heard hitting the floor in the silence that followed. 

"Tw-twins." Athena repeated. "Oh my God." The panic began to settle in. She had barely wrapped her head around having a baby. Now the doctor was telling her it was twins. "Oh my God.'

Bobby squeezed her hand. "Athena."

She didn't hear him. Yes, he was sitting right next to her, but Athena's mind was swirling. Her breathes came in short gasps. She felt a heavy weight on her chest. Twins. The word vibrated in her mind. She wasn't having a baby, she was having two. TWO. Athena was terrified. "I..I…" she couldn't speak. She was gasping for air still.

"Athena." Dr. Sandoval said gently, yet firmly. She put her hand gently on Athena's right shoulder, careful of her broken arm. "Athena, you need to breathe." She picked up the oxygen mask, ready to put it on.

"I think she's having a panic attack." The smile that graced Bobby's face a minute before was gone, worry was now etched in every feature of his face. "Athena, honey." He tried to get her attention. Athena's eyes moved back and forth between the doctor and Bobby. Finally her eyes settled on Bobby's as he said her name again, "Athena." His hand still holding hers. "You need to breathe." He told her. "Breathe." He said, fear starting to creeping into his voice, which he realized would not help her.

"I can't." She panted. Her eyes went wide. She hit his hand several times as panic set in. She felt like she was suffocating, unable to get sufficient oxygen into her lungs.

Bobby held her hand in both of his. "Yes you can. Eyes on me." Bobby instructed her. He managed to keep his voice even.

Athena pulled her left hand from his grip and put it on his shoulder trying to ground herself by holding onto him. "Breathe with me." He said.

"It's working." The doctor said feeling Athena's pulse start to normalize.

"You're doing great." Bobby told her. "That's it. Nice and easy." He took a few more deep breathes with her.

"I'm sorry." Athena apologized. Bobby took her hand back between his.

"I'll give you a minute." Dr. Sandoval clicking a few buttons. "And I'll be back." Before she left she handed them the ultrasound picture. Bobby took it.

"Can I see?" Athena asked as soon as they were alone. Bobby handed it to her. She saw the two babies with her own eyes. "Our babies." She smiled.

Bobby touched her shoulder, "You okay?"

"I panicked. I've barely had time to wrap my head around the idea of a baby. Hearing that there's two little ones in there just shocked me for a minute." She squeezed his hand, "I'm scared."

Bobby leaned forward and kissed her. "It's okay to be scared. I'm scared too. I have faith in you and us. We're just going to take it one day at a time."

Athena nodded. "I trust you." 

"Trust yourself." Bobby said kindly.

"You know the risk of complications is now that much higher." She told him.

"I do." Bobby nodded. "We'll cross those bridges if we get to them. Do you know what I'm going to do right now?" He grinned.

"What?" Athena smiled.

"I'm going to kiss my wife." Bobby kissed her. "And I'm going to enjoy this moment. We're having twins."

"We're having twins." Athena's smile was now as wide as his. 

"If anyone can do this it's you." Bobby told her. 

"Well I'm not doing it without you. I'm going to need you. I can't do this without you."

"You're not going to. Promise." He kissed her forehead.

"Athena? How are you feeling?" Dr. Sandoval returned.

"I'm okay." Athena replied. "That was definitely a shock, but Mr. Calm over here settled me."

"Calm?" Bobby looked at Athena. "You must have missed the face I made when she said twins." Bobby winked at Athena.

Dr. Sandoval talked them through a few things and then left. Athena's phone rang from the bed side table and Bobby handed it to her.

"Hi sweetie." Athena answered. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for the big night?""

"I just wanted to say hi and I wish you were here." May said. Bobby watched Athena face fall. He knew how excited May and Athena both were for this night.

"I know sweetie. Believe me. This hospital room is the last place I want to be right now. I'm sure you look amazing. We'll see you soon."

"I'll text when we're on our way. Love you mom."

"Love you too baby girl." Athena hung up. Bobby gave her a look acknowledging that he knew it was hard for her not being with May, but said nothing.

**

"Okay," Bobby set his phone down. "They are on their way." Athena just nodded. "Thena?" Bobby gently put his hand on her shoulder. 

"It's nothing." Athena brushed him off.

"It's not." Bobby took a seat on the side of the bed. He waited for her to speak.

"This was a big day for May. I should have been there. She only has one senior prom and here I am."

"And you still get to share in this moment. You still get to see her all dressed up and send her off to prom, even if it's out of a hospital room door and not our front door." Bobby reminded her.

"Thank you." Athena replied. He always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better. 

"Are you ready?" 

"No it means she's growing up. I want to hold her close just a little bit longer." Athena replied.

"She's more than ready to spread her wings and go out into the world." Bobby was very proud of his stepdaughter.

"Doesn't mean I'm ready." Athena chided.

"You won't be alone. You still got me and Harry. And," he placed his hand on her stomach, "these two."

Athena smiled. "There will be no shortage of excitement in our lives, that's for sure." Athena tried to move. "Now help me sit up. I want to sitting up for this."

Bobby adjusted the bed and the pillows behind Athena. They looked up at the knock at the door. 

Darius held the door and May walked in. Bobby and Athena both looked at her in aw. 

"Baby girl, you look stunning." Athena gushed.

"Thanks momma." May walked over and hugged her. "Bobby?" She turned towards her stepfather.

"You look beautiful May." Bobby tried not to get teary eyed.

"Okay, lets take some pictures. Bobby, May get over here." Michael held up his camera.

Athena watched while Michael took pictures of Bobby with May and with May and Darius. Then Harry joined them. Finally Michael handed the camera to Harry so he could get in a few pictures. Athena smiled perfectly happy to watch her family take pictures. May looked so grown up. She was reminded how lucky she was to have such a loving, supportive family. 

Athena was touched when Darius told her it was her turn. She appreciated the thought to include her, and she certainly didn't miss that he called her Mrs. Nash which made her smile. When May approached her and told her why she wanted Athena to be in her pictures, she couldn't say no. This was May's night, and if she wanted these pictures Athena wasn't going to say no. Athena shared a glance with Bobby as May and Darius got in position. Bobby looked so proud. He smiled just for her. Athena returned his smile and turned towards the camera. 

"Bobby." Athena beckoned for him to join them for the next round of photos.

"Everyone smile." Michael told them. "Lovely." He said after clicking through some of the pictures. "Harry get over there." Harry stood next to Darius and flashed his big smile. "Wonderful." Michael smiled.

"I hate to interrupt." Nurse Jackie said entering the room.

"It is time already?" Athena groaned.

"I'm afraid so." Jackie answered but she was smiling. 

"Could you just take a picture of all of us?" Michael asked.

"Absolutely." Jackie took the camera.

Michael stood behind Darius next to Athena. He put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Everyone smile on 1, 2, 3." Jackie raised the camera. 

"Perfect." Athena smiled. She felt surrounded by love.

"Have fun tonight." Athena kissed May's cheek. She turned to Darius. "Make sure you have her home by 12:30."

"Yes ma'am." Darius nodded.

"Enjoy the dance." Bobby hugged May. 

"Bye mom." Harry hugged Athena too. 

"Bye baby. I'll be home soon." Athena assured him.

"Keep resting." Michael said to Athena. "Don't give the doctors and nurses too much trouble." He glanced at Jackie.

Athena watched her family file out the door. Then the room was quiet. Jackie administered Athena's evening meds and brought her dinner. Athena was already counting down the hours till she could sleep in her own bed and eat her husband's cooking. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena comes home to more than one surprise.

"Remember to rest." Dr. Sandoval reminded Athena as she got ready to leave the hospital. "I'm not putting you on strict bedrest, I'm sure you'll have plenty of that when these babies get closer to delivery, but take it easy, for yourself and them."

"I will." Athena promised. Athena was terrified of bringing any harm to her babies. Unbeknownst to her at the time, Athena had already put her babies through a trauma, and she felt guilty enough for that.

"I'll see you next week when they take the stiches out, but if anything comes up before then don't hesitate to reach out." Athena nodded.

"Ready?" Bobby asked offering his hand.

Athena took it. "Take me home."

"You're quiet." Bobby remarked as they neared the house.

"I'm just thinking." Athena replied. "I could have hurt them."

It took Bobby a moment to realize what she was talking about, "Athena, you didn't know you were pregnant."

"I should have. I was really late, the cramping, the tiredness." Athena told him. "I should have seen the signs."

"Athena." Bobby parked the car in the driveway and looked at her. "You had a stressful few weeks at work. You were picking up extra shifts left and right. Do I need to remind you the odds of a woman your age getting pregnant. No one blames you for not realizing it. I don't blame you. Our babies are healthy and safe."

"Okay." Athena nodded. 

"Mom!" May jumped off the couch when the door opened.

"Hi honey." Athena smiled. "Where's your brother?" 

"Dad and him just went to the store." May told them. "Dad wanted to get you some groceries. He figured Bobby hadn't had the chance to go to the store yet."

"I haven't, so that's appreciated." Bobby smiled.

"I'm going to go lie down." Athena didn't know if it was because now she knew she was pregnant or because her world had finally slowed down, but Athena was starting to feel the effects. 

Bobby followed Athena into bedroom. He put some things in the hamper, placed Athena's book and phone on the nightstand. Bobby sat on the bed. "Are you alright?" 

"I'm just tired." Athena assured him.

"Do you need anything?" Bobby stroked her hair.

"Just sleep."

"Then I'll let you get it." Bobby kissed her. He got up and shut the door quietly behind him.

Athena only slept for a little while before a nightmare jolted her awake. Dread filled her, she knew this was only the begining. The nightmares were not going to end any time soon. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep Athena got up. She stopped as soon as she walked out of the bedroom. "Robert Wade Nash!" She yelled.

Bobby came running from the kitchen Harry and May behind him. "What? What's wrong?" He was concerned for a moment before he realized she wasn't looking at him at all.

"What is God's name happened to the fireplace?" Athena spoke slowly, each word pronounced sharply. She was furious. 

Bobby turned red quickly. "Okay, don't be mad." He held up his hands and took a step back.

"Don't be mad?! Really, you think that's the best thing to say to me right now?!" Whether it was pure rage or if her feelings were intensified by her hormones, Athena was livid. "It looks like someone to a hammer to it!"

Bobby looked sheepish. "That's because we did."

"We!!" Athena rounded on her kids. 

"Not them." Bobby jumped into Athena's line of sight feeling the need to shield his stepchildren from their mother's anger. "Michael and I."

Athena was momentarily speechless. Two grown ass adults figured it would be a good idea to turn the fireplace into rubble. "What the hell were you thinking?! Were you to out of your damn minds?!"

"Maybe a bit." Bobby shrugged he remembered how he was feeling during his talk with Michael. He was out of his mind, not crazy, by stricken with grief and shock, and helplessness. Athena's trauma fresh in his mind and no way to cope, yeah, you could say Bobby wasn't thinking straight. 

"You need to explain yourself right now." Athena was unsettled by Bobby's response. 

"Maybe now's not the best time." Bobby subtly moved his eyes in the direction of the kids.

"Kids, finish your lunch." Athena ordered. Harry and May quickly returned to the kitchen. Athena headed out onto the patio and Bobby followed shutting the door behind him. "Explain."

"Michael came by to see how I was doing. I wasn't doing well. I'm still not. He was just trying to help me blow off some steam. He promise to build us a new one."

"And neither of you bothered to think about how I would feel?" That wasn't the part of Bobby's explanation that worried her, but she could take care of that next.

Bobby chuckled. "I did warn him that you'd probably kill us."

"Mmph." Athena huffed. That made her feel a little better actually. She put her hand on his arm. "How are you doing?" Athena had been so focused on her own trauma and then the pregnancy news that she hadn't taken a moment to check in on her husband. Now she was looking at him, he didn't look well. "Are you making your meetings? Going to church?"

"I'm doing my best." Bobby didn't want to add his troubles to hers.

"That's not what I asked." Athena gave him one of her famous looks.

He nodded. "I'm not great. I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about what ifs and everytime I lay down." Bobby stopped. 

"Bobby?"

"Everytime I lay down I hear that gun go off. That moment plays on a loop in my mind and I don't know how to make it stop." Bobby admitted. "I'm sorry." He said quickly seeing Athena had dropped her gaze to the ground, "I shouldn't have said anything." He knew Athena hadn't even begun to face the mental and emotional aftermath of the attack.

"It's okay." Athena squeezed his forearm. She knew she wasn't the only one who had healing to do, but acknowldging Bobby's feelings only made what happened more real and Athena wasn't ready to face that yet. However, it was oddly comforting to hear Bobby admit it was affecting him too. "I have nightmares too." 

Athena and Bobby turned towards the house at the sound of the doorbell. 

"I got it!" May called out hurrying to the door.

Bobby and Athena shared a look confirming neither of them were expecting company. They headed inside to see who was at the door. 

"Momma? Daddy?" Athena stood open mouthed in the lviing room. "What are you doing here?"

Beatrice looked at her daughter in disbelief. "You were almost beaten to death, what did you think, that we weren't going to come see you." Silence followed. Harry and May avoided looking at any of the adults. Beatrice and Athena just looked at each other. 

Samuel came forward and clapped Bobby on the arm. He was the only one who noticed that Bobby had turned white and gone rigid at Beatrice's words. It was clear to him Athena wasn't the only one struggling. Samuel's hand on his arm pulled Bobby back to the present. Bobby glanced down at him and smiled slightly, acknowledging the support.

"Momma, I'm fine." Athena said. Beatrice didn't say anything. They all knew it wasn't true. Athena continued to insist that she was, but the word had stopped having a meaning. It became her defense to shut down and protect herself.

  
"What happened there?" Samuel noticed the fire place.

"Don't ask." Harry said.

"Come on we were just having lunch?" May directed her grandparents into the kitchen. Beatrice and Samuel followed Harry and May into the kitchen leaving Bobby and Athena in the living room. 

"You okay?" Bobby put his hand on her back.

"Just surprised to see them." Athena had mixed feelings about her parents being here. With everything she was dealing with in the aftermath of the attack and the pregnancy, the added stress bound to come with Beatrice's presence meant Athena needed a moment to gather herself. "Did you call them?" Athena wouldn't have been surprised, afterall he had called her mother when she was working on Emmett's case.

"I mean I called them that night and have given them a few updates. But I had no idea they were going to get on a plane and come out." Bobby knew there was bound to be some challenges with Beatrice and Samuel's visit, but he was grateful for his in-laws' visit. Bobby was very hesitant to leave Athena alone when he returned to work the next evening. "Come on, let's eat something." He was aware Athena hadn't eaten yet. Athena nodded and followed him into the kitchen. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena's parents are visiting

"Alright, I'm off to work." Bobby stopped by the couch to say good-bye to Athena. "Are you going to be okay?" He looked concerned.

"Are you kidding?" Athena looked up from her book. "I'm surrounded by pillows and blanket, momma and the kids won't let me lift a finger, and dad's managed to keep the peace so far."

Bobby didn't miss the implication of "so far", but didn't say anything. "If you're sure." Bobby nodded. "Call or text me if you need anything."

"I am." Athena smiled. She gently pulled on his shirt so he'd lean down to kiss her. "We'll be fine." She whispered.

"I love you." Bobby moved his lips to her ear, "All of you." 

Athena giggled, "Go on Captain. I love you too. Be safe."

**

"Hey, Cap, I just made coffee. Do you want some?" Eddie asked.

"Sure." Bobby took a seat besides Buck at the table and soon Eddie was putting a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He took a sip. "Athena's parents showed up this morning." He told his team.

"What?" Hen couldn't believe it.

"Yeah." Bobby nodded. "They showed up at the house this morning." 

"How did that go over?" Hen would not be at all suprised to hear either Athena or Beatrice lost their temper.

"Beatrice is holding her tongue, for now, and frankly I don't think Athena has the energy to argue with her." Bobby said.

"For now?" Buck questioned.

Bobby glanced at his phone checking for word from Athena but there was none. "Athena's mother has very strong opinions about the choices Athena's made in her life. I have no doubt she will, at some point, try and convince Athena to quit."

"That's absurd!" Chimney replied.

"Yeah!" Buck agreed. "Athena is the best there is. No way she'd quit."

Bobby held up his hands. Truthfully, he didn't know what Athena's future held. "Athena's going to be recovering for quite awhile, she's got plenty of time to deal with her trauma."

"Why do I feel lke there's a but coming?" Eddie asked.

Bobby sighed. "I have my own feelings about Breatrice. There are some things I won't forgive her for. I definitely think Athena and Beatrice will get into it as some point, but a tiny part of me hopes Beatrice talks her into quitting." The silence was deafening. "I don't mean it. Not really. Kind of. I don't know. I know it's part of the job, but" Bobby went quiet. He picked up his mug and took another sip.

"It's okay." Hen put a hand on Bobby. "You went through a trauma too. It's natural for you to want to protect her."

"And she doesn't have to make the decision tomorrow or next week." Chimney added. "You both have time to heal and Athena has time to figure out what she wants." 

Bobby just nodded. Athena might have a lot more time than they suspected. It gave him some relief to know that if she did go back to work, she likely would be on desk work until the babies were born and it would be closer to a year if not longer before she was back in the field. A smile spread across Bobby's face at the thought of his pregnant wife. "Thank you. That helped." Bobby told his team. He felt a bit better now.

"Good." Eddie said as the alarm rang. "Because we got work to do and we need our captain."

**  
Beatrice allowed Athena to have some space for a few days. Beatrice had plenty she wanted to say to her daughter, but seeing the physical and emotional pain Athena was experiencing gave Beatrice pause. For the first two days Beatrice focused on helping maintain a smooth running household. She and Samuel helped Harry and May with their homework, made sure they got to school on time, and took care of things around the house. Bobby also pitched in when he was home, but he also focused much of his attention on Athena's well-being.

On the third morning Beatrice took the opportunity to speak with Athena. Samuel had just walked out the door to drop the kids at school and run some errands, and Bobby was at work. Beatrice had started a load of laundry while Athena ate breakfast.  
Beatrice returned to find Athena still eating. With her right hand in a sling every task took longer. Beatrice gave Athena a look the younger woman knew well, one Athena had perfected over the years herself and used on her own children.

"Momma, I don't want to talk about this." Athena said. She wasn't sleeping well, plagued by nightmares, and still couldn't accept what happened. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone about it, least of all her mother.

"Athena, you could have died." Beatrice said seriously. She was terrified every day for her daughter's life.

"I know." Athena snapped. "Do you think I don't know that?"

"Don't get upset." Beatrice tried to calm her down. "Your father and I have been worried sick since Bobby called. This job is dangerous. God forbid something worse happens next time. Athena, you need to think about yourself and your family."

Athena was quiet a moment then she looked at her mom. "I am thinking about myself and about my family. I see the way Harry is scared to come near me. I see the way both of them tip toe around me. I see the worried looks. But do you know what the worst part is? The look on Bobby's face. He heard everything on the radio that night. It was his team that responded. And I'm reminded every day by the look on his face. Momma, I don't remember what happened. Everything from that night is fuzzy, and I only recall flashes at a time. What I do remember is the look on Bobby's face. He looked at me like I was dying right there in front of him. So believe me, I know exactly what this has done to my family."

"Okay." Beatrice nodded. She expected more of a fight from Athena. Instead her daughter had told her exactly what she was feeling. Beatrice realized the emotional pain hurt more than the physical pain. Athena seemed to know exactly what her family was now going through. Beatrice could have gone on about her feelings, but that's not what Athena needed. Her daughter needed support not a lecture about her life choices.

Athena took a drink of orange juice and tried to hide her surprise that her mother dropped the conversation.

**  
"Mind if I join you?" Samuel stepped out onto the patio.

"Not at all." Bobby looked up at his father in law. 

Samuel sat down, but remained quiet. He had been watching Bobby for several days. He was worried about his son-in-law and wanted to give him space to talk if he wanted it. If not, Samuel was perfectly happy to just sit with Bobby so he wasn't alone.

Bobby glanced at Samuel then turned back to look out over the yard. "I thought I lost her." Bobby felt his voice cracking already. "I know I didn't, but I could have. I've been trying to tell myself that it's the job. We risk our lives for our communities. We know the risk, but I can't seem to shake the what ifs, and I don't know what to with those feelings. Hearing her and not being able to help, I felt powerless. I couldn't do anything, but listen and pray to God she would be okay. I would have done anything to keep safe." Bobby turned towards his father-in-law and watched Samuel nod slowly. "I let her down." Bobby voice cracked again, "I couldn't protect her." Bobby looked away from Samuel and tried to stop the guilt from overwhelming him. It was hard for him to admit to Samuel that he couldn't keep his daughter safe.

Samuel remained quiet for a while then finally spoke, "Bobby, there was nothing you could have done. I don't think you will ever stop feeling powerless about this situation because you love her."

"More than anything." Bobby said firmly. "What do I do with the what if feelings?"

"I don't think it will go away. Like any trauma, you will   
learn to get through it, but it doesn't go away." Samuel replied. 

"No I don't think it will." Bobby agreed.

"Bobby." Samuel finally looked at Bobby. "Thank you for taking care of my baby girl." He held up his hand as Bobby opened his mouth. "I know in light of everything you feel like you haven't, but even though she got hurt, that doesn't mean you weren't taking care of her. That wasn't your fault. You didn't leave her side the entire time she was in the hospital. You are still by her side, looking out for her every day." Bobby nodded in response and the pair went back to sitting in silence.

"Hey." Athena poked her head outside. "Bobby, can we talk?" 

Samuel got up. "I'll go help your mother with dinner." He said to Athena.

"How was your nap?" Bobby asked as Athena sat beside him.

"Fine. I managed to get a little sleep." Athena told him.

"Good." Bobby replied and silence fell.

"So, um, tomorrow night a victim's advocate is going to come over. Dr. Sandford is working with all the victims on this case to help them prepare for testifying at the trial. I'm going to go through the files with her."

"Okay." Bobby wasn't sure how he felt about Athena still working on this case. "Are you going to testify?" 

Athena didn't meet his gaze. "I don't know."

Bobby gently took her hand. "I'll support you, whatever choice you make. I want to help you."

"I know." Athena squeezed his hand.

Bobby looked up to make sure the door was closed. "Have you told your parents you're pregnant yet?"

Athena shook her head. "I'm not ready to tell people yet. Anything could happen still. I want to wait a little longer." Athena was still fearful that something might happen. The doctor had warned her that while the physical trauma was over the emotional and mental stress could be overwhelming for her body. Athena also had no idea what her parents' reactions would be and she wasn't sure she was ready to find out. "We can tell them before they leave just not yet."

"Alright." Bobby stood up and offered his hand. "Ready to eat?"

"Yeah." Athena nodded and stood up. She smiled as Bobby kissed her temple before opening the door for her.


	8. Chapter 8

"Urgh." Athena groaned leaning her head against the wall in the bathroom. Morning sickness was making her feel absolutely miserable this morning. "My body hates me." She said to Bobby as she moved her head to his shoulder.

"No it doesn't." He said gently. "Your body blessed us with two babies." He smiled.

Athena glared but then smiled. Bobby was right. She felt this crappy because she was growing not one, but two babies. Also, some of the pain she was in was from her physical injuries. She had to remind herself that she was still healing from a traumatic event.

"Okay." Athena said offering her hand to Bobby, "it passed." 

Bobby helped her up. "I love you." He kissed her, his hands moved down her back to her ass.

Athena let him deepen the kiss for a moment before she pulled away. On some level she did still desire the physical contact, and didn't want to end the kiss, but at the same time she was repulsed by the idea of intimacy. She felt exposed and vulnerable from the attack still. Not to mention the physical reminders still marked her body. They didn't make Athena feel sexy or turned on.

"I've got to get dressed." She moved out of Bobby's embrace and went to the closet.

Bobby looked after her. Several thoughts crossed his mind. He pushed them aside for now. Athena was still settling into being at home. The attack wasn't even a week old. It wasn't right for him to try and psychoanalyze her every move. Bobby picked up his toothbrush and brushed his teeth.

He walked back into the kitchen and found his family eating breakfast. "I'm off to work. I will see you all later." 

"Bye Bobby." The kids chorused.

"I love you." Bobby said quietly bending down to kiss Athena's head. 

"I love you too." She answered.

**  
That evening when Kara came Athena was alone in the house. Bobby was at work and Athena's parents had taken the kids to dinner and a movie. 

"Hi Dr. Sanford please come in." Athena welcomed the woman into the house."

"Please, Sergeant Grant, Kara is fine. I'm sorry I had to cancel last night."

"It's no problem." Athena waved her off. Truthfully she was glad to have put this meeting off another night. "And call me Athena. No need for formalities." She led Kara into the kitchen where she had arranged the files.

Athena was quick to jump into dicussing the other victims and how their testimonies may appear in court. However, Kara's subtle replies to Athena's observations about the other woman slowly began to hit Athena. Athena was projecting her feelings. Athena paused. She wasn't ready to go there. She stopped midsentence when she realized what was going on.  
  
"You're here to talk about my situation." Athena said.

Kara nodded. "I'm here for you."

"I…I…" Athena froze. The thought of sharing the terrifying thoughts that plagued her mind made Athena extremely uncomfortable. "I don't know if I'm ready for that. Honestly, I don't remember much." That admission was both a relief and a disappointment for Athena. 

"That's okay." Kara said gently. "You can share whatever you feel comfortable sharing."

"Whatever I say to you is confidential?" Athena questioned.

Kara nodded. "Absolutely."

"I'm pregnant." Years of practice helped Kara keep a neutral face. Athena's announcement was a shock. "I found out when I was in the hospital. My husband is the only other person who knows. I know I am okay. And the doctor assured me the babies are fine...Twins." She added when Kara looked confused. "But if something were to have happened to them because of the attack I would have felt responsible."

"Because you feel responsible for what happened. It happened to you. It was not your fault." Kara reminded her.

"Maybe." Athena wasn't convinced. "I don't remember much." Athena couldn't know if she blamed herself until she could remember what happened. What had she done?

"What do you remember?" Kara asked.

"I remember going in, calling for back up, then I got hit from behind. Next thing I remember is being in the back of the ambulance. I don't remember any of the actual attack. I've seen like snapshots occasionally in my dreams, but they don't make any sense."

Kara observed the change in Athena's tone and posture when she mentioned the ambulance. "It's understandable that you might be frustrated that you don't remember."

"It's not that. Well it is, but not entirely." Athena replied. She sighed. "I terrified my family. My kids can barely look at me. When they do look at me it's like they expect me to collapse at any moment. And Bobby-" Athena looked at Kara for a few moments before continuing. "He thought I was dying. I still see that look in his face even now. I'm reminded of what this has done to them all of the time." Athena was quiet for a minute. Kara let Athena think. "I'm not sleeping well and all the hormone changes, well I can't keep up with my feelings. I feel out of control."

"It's not going to be forever. Your memory will likely come back with time. It's not uncommon for our brains to block out memories as a result of trauma. I'm going to leave this file here for you." Kara placed it on the table.

"I'm not ready." Athena leaned back in her chair.

"That's okay. When you're ready, call me." Kara said.

"Thank you." Athena told her.

"Of course." Kara smiled. "We'll be in touch."

**

Later that night Athena lay awake. One hand was stretched out to touch Bobby's side of the bed. It was cold and empty because Bobby was at work. Athena stared at the ceiling she couldn't sleep without him. She was scared to close her eyes, knowing what images would haunt her. Athena got up and went to the kitchen.

"Hi dad." Athena found Samuel in the kitchen making tea.

"You're up late." Samuel looked up.

"Couldn't sleep." She sat down at the table. "What about you?"

"Periodic insomnia." He set down the kettle. "What's on your mind?" Samuel asked. He placed a cup of tea in front of Athena.

"It's Bobby." Athena said.

He nodded in understanding, "You sleep better when he's home. You worry about him when he's at work."

"I wish that was all." Athena looked down. 

"Thena?" Samuel said gently. "What is it?

"Yes, I worry about him at work, but it's not that. When he's here I feel safe. I've never needed a man to feel safe, but now…I'm afraid to be alone."

"You've been through alot. You are still a strong, independent woman. Feeling more comfortable when Bobby is home is fine."

"That's just it. When he's home I feel safer, but I still can't sleep." Athena sighed. "When I try to sleep I see Bobby staring at me in that ambulance. He was so scared, dad. He-"

"Thought you were dying." Samuel supplied. When he saw the look of shock on Athena's face he explained, "He told me."

Athena just nodded slowly letting the realization wash over her. "I can't make him unsee that."

"Why would you want to?" Samuel asked.

"Because that version of me is what Bobby sees when he looks at me. I see it in his face. The sadness and fear in his eyes, it suffocates me. I can't live like that. I just lie in bed feeling guilty. I feel responsible for him having to go through that and I'm angry. Angry at him for looking at me with pity."

"Honey, he does not pity you. Have you told him how you feel?" Samuel asked. Athena shook her head. "Tell him. If he doesn't know he can't do anything about it."

"But dad, it's how he feels. He can't suddenly change how he feels because I ask him to. He went through a trauma too that night. I know he's worried about me, but he needs to heal too."

Samuel agreed. "I agree, but I still think you should tell him. For both of your wellbeings. A few days have past now, maybe its time you two talk about what happened." 

"We have been talking." Athena pointed out.

"I mean about that night. About your feelings and the trauma you are both experiencing." Athena still didn't look settled. "Honey, what else is going on?" He had a feeling Athena was keeping something else from him.

"I'm not ready to talk about that just yet." Athena responded. She got up from the table. "Goodnight dad."

"Goodnight."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Bobby entered the house quietly at seven. He wasn't sure who was going to be up. Hearing quiet voices in the kitchen, Bobby set his bag down in the living room.

"Morning." He greeted his in laws and step children who were all eating breakfast.

"Bobby, are you hungry?" May asked getting up to clear her plate.

"I'm okay thank you. It was a long night so I think I'm just going to go lay down and I'll eat when I get up." Bobby told her. "Is Athena still asleep?" She wasn't at the table with the rest of the family.

"Yes." Beatrice sipped her coffee. 

"I'll be quiet then." Bobby turned to leave the room. "Good night."

Bobby quietly opened the door to the bedroom and shut it carefully behind him. He looked and saw Athena curled up on her side of the bed. He didn't know she had been tossing in bed till after three. Bobby gently pulled back the covers on his side and got into bed. He scooted towards Athena and put his arm around her.

Athena woke up with a start, when she felt an arm wrap around her middle. She clenched her hand around the arm digging her fingernails into Bobby's wrist.

"Ah" Bobby groaned hoping Athena's fingernails hadn't actually cut through his skin.

"Bobby." Athena gasped, his voice registering in her mind. She released his arm. "Sorry. Are you okay? You scared me."

"I'm fine." But he winced. That hurt. He didn't think about how Athena might react to suddenly feeling his arm around her after what she went through. Bobby felt bad for not being thoughtful. "I wasn't thinking about how that might trigger you. I'm sorry." Sadly he thought of happier memories of when Athena would feel him get into bed after a shift and instinctively snuggle against him.

"I'm okay." Athena felt her heartrate start to fall. "Bobby I" Athena started, her dad's words floating through her mind. "Are you still planning on coming to my appointment this afternoon?"

"Of course." Bobby nodded. "That is if you still want me to."

Athena nodded. "And I was thinking maybe after we could go somewhere."

Bobby smiled. "It's a date." Really romance had been the last thing on his mind the past week, and he was a little surprised Athena had suggested it.

"Not exactly." Athena replied. "I was thinking just going somewhere away from everyone and everything where we can talk. We need to talk."  
Bobby smile vanished. Athena noticed and quickly reassured him, "Nothing bad. I just think we need to talk about everything that's happened. Neither of us are okay right now and it's time we start admitting it."

"Okay, but first sleep." Bobby yawned. He laid down careful to give Athena some space.

**  
Walking out of the doctor's office both Bobby and Athena felt better. Dr. Sandoval had assured them the babies were looking really good. Also, Dr. Calloway told Athena she was healing well. While she should be careful of her activity level as she continues to heal, he was permitting her to begin light exercise. Athena was thrilled. She was starting to get fed up with just sitting out on the patio for fresh air.

"It's nice to see you smiling again." Bobby commented.

"Right now I'm feeling happy. We've got two healthy babies." She gently placed a hand on her stomach for a moment.

"And their momma is healing well too." Bobby added. He was happy to hear the good news from the doctors.

"Oh can we get froyo?" Athena asked seeing the sign a few store fronts down.

"Cravings already?" Bobby teased.

Athena shrugged, "Maybe."

  
The couple got their froyo then continued on their walk. Each enjoying their froyo before it melted. Not really sure where they were walking, the couple found a park. Athena spotted a nearby bench and sat down. Bobby felt like Athena wanted to say something so he sat quietly waiting.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way." Athena said nervously. "But I think we need to talk about this." She chanced a look at Bobby. His face was unreadable but he nodded. "I'm not sleeping well."

"I noticed." Bobby said lightly.

"That night plays on a loop in my head. I…"

"It's understandable." Bobby understood that she wasn't okay. "You went through alot that night. It's going to take some time until you feel like yourself again." He added. Athena's demeanor had shifted since that night, that much was obvious.

"It's more than that. It's you." Athena held her breath a moment before continuing. "All I can think about is your face. The look of terror I saw on your face in that ambulance haunts me Bobby. I can't think, I can't breathe. I just see you looking at me like… like I'm dying. And right now I don't know what to do."

Bobby felt his heart drop, like a rock to the bottom of the ocean. He held his tongue though, Bobby didn't want to interrupt Athena as she was sharing her feelings. She had an idea of what he was feeling. 

"I'm sorry." Athena felt tears gather in her eyes when she saw the look on his face. "I don't want it to be true, but Bobby it is." Athena felt terribly that she was hurting him by telling him this.

"Okay." Bobby nodded. Still processing. He couldn't help but feel little bitter. All he tried to do was save her, comfort her, and pray to God she wouldn't die. Now she was telling him it was he who was causing her so much pain.

"Please don't be mad."

"Athena I'm not mad." Bobby took her hand. "I was terrified that night. I thought the worse. It still plagues me, Athena. I know it's a reality of our work. But seeing it, hearing you struggle. I can't help but think what if. What if it was worse. I… don't want to imagine it, but I can't help it. Please try and remember I'm still healing too."

Athena nodded. "I will try to be more patient with you."

"If there's anything I can do please tell me. I want to help. I don't want to hurt you." Bobby told her.

"Maybe avoid touching me without warning." Athena said remembering what happened this morning. 

Bobby understood what she meant. And looking back on it, he couldn't blame her for reacting the way she did this morning. However, it made Bobby feel like they were taking a step back in their relationship. Athena always told him how much she loves it when he hugs her from behind, yet he could see where right now that could be triggering.

"I love you." Athena touched his cheek.

"I love you too." Bobby kissed her.

"So, how do you feel about telling my parents we're pregnant later after Michael takes the kids."

Bobby raised his eyebrows. "Are you ready? I know the doctor said everything is good."

"I'd like to tell them."

"How do you think they'll take it?"

"I think they'll be shocked." Athena said.

"Honestly, I'm a bit terrified." Bobby said.

"Why?" Athena chuckled.

"Not about telling them. Your mom can be very judgemental. I'm just concerned about her reaction."

"She's surprised me so far during this visit so I don't know what to expect from her." Athena admitted.

**

Athena's nerves heighted as the front door closed leaving Athena, Bobby, Beatrice, and Samuel alone in the house. She sat on the couch and glanced at Bobby. Bobby cleared his throat and sat beside her.

"Oh this doesn't feel good." Beatrice remarked sharing a looked with her husband.

"No, it's eh, actually good." Athena reached for Bobby's hand. She looked at Bobby and he squeezed her hand.

"Athena?" Samuel leaned forward slightly in his seat, bracing himself for whatever his daughter was about to say.

"When I was in the hospital after the attack. I… we… um got some surprising news." Athena said carefully. Bobby's thumb rubbing gently against the back of her hand was a constant reminder that he was right there with her. "I'm pregnant." 

Samuel and Beatrice were both speechless. They stared at their daughter and son-in-law in disbelief. Several very long seconds past with Bobby and Athena waiting for one of them to speak. 

"You're pregnant." Samuel repeated. "As in having a baby?" He was still in shock.

"Well actually two babies." Bobby clarified.

"Two." Beatrice breathed. "Twins." She continued to look at Athena.

"Yes." Athena nodded. "We're having twins."

Samuel's face switched from shock to joy as he finally processed the news. "I don't know what to say." He wiped at his eyes. 

Athena got up and hugged him. Samuel and Athena turned to Beatrice.

"Well I don't know what made you think having a baby at your age was a good idea." Beatrice started.

Athena's shoulders drooped. "B." Samuel said in a warning tone.

Beatrice waved off her husband. "But I look forward to meeting my newest grandbabies soon."

The relief was evident on Athena's face as she leaned down to hug her. 

"So how is everything going so far?" Samuel asked.

"Doctor says everything looks good. Athena needs to keep taking it easy for now."

"Were you pregnant during the attack?" Beatrice asked. She momentarily forgot anything Athena said before "I'm pregnant".

"I was. I didn't know that I was pregnant. It was quite the shock to us too." Athena smiled at Bobby. "The doctor said the babies were perfectly safe and suffered no injuries in the attack." Athena answered.

"The important thing is both Athena and the babies are healthy and well." Bobby slipped his arm around Athena. 

"I think it's wonderful news." Samuel beamed. He wanted to be positive, but he couldn't help but think Athena and Bobby had a challenging road ahead. The pregnancy wasn't going to be easy, that much they all knew, but the couple was still working through the trauma they both experienced. He had faith Bobby and Athena would make it through, but that didn't mean there weren't going to be difficulties along the way.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi... remember me?? I finally got an update for this story. I had writers block for a bit.

Athena shivered as she leaned against the cool wall. Her butt had gone numb from sitting on the floor minutes ago. Athena growned. Maybe it was morning sickness. What ever was going on she felt like shit. Barely into the second trimester and her babies were running her ragged. Athena rubbed her belly hoping to soothe whatever was going on. 

Athena's vision blurred. That wasn't normal. She pushed her fingers into her skin trying to quell the sharp pain she felt. She knew cramping was normal and she would likely experience it more this time because there were two babies inside her instead of one, but she didn't remember it being this painful. The pain passed as quickly as it had come and for a moment Athena thought she imagined it. That is until another sharp pain shot through her uterus.

"Really?" Athena said aloud to herself. "Not fun." She groaned. 

She thought about standing but as she tried a wave of nausea knocked her back down to the floor. The nausea slowly faded, but Athena's mind was distracted by another sharp pain. Briefly Athena thought her body was trying to tear her uterus apart, a comment she sometimes made if she had bad cramps on her period. But Athena didn't laugh or smile because another thought entered her mind. Maybe that's exactly what her uterus was doing. Athena felt her stomach twist into a knot. What if her uterus really was trying to tear itself? That couldn't be happening. No. Because that would mean- no Athena refused to think that.

Athena glanced around trying to locate her phone. Athena took a breathe to relax, freaking out wouldn't help. She found her phone sitting on the edge of the bathtub. She held it in her hand and stared at it. Did she call Bobby at work? Did she bother him? Maybe just hearing his voice would calm her.

A few tears slid down her cheek as she made the decision to call Bobby. Athena was scared and alone. She didn't know what was happening to her body.

"Bobby." Athena said when he picked up.

Bobby was in his office. "Athena?" Bobby leaned forward in his chair when he heard her voice. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." Athena sniffled.

"Athena. What's going on?" Worry caused the hair to stand up on the back of his neck.

"I don't know." Athena repeated.

"That doesn't help me." Bobby said. "Are you sick?"

"Something's wrong." She said.

"Can you tell me what?" Bobby tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice. Several possibilities popped into his head, some more worrisome than others.

"I…I don't know."

Bobby pulled the phone away and sighed. He was trying not to get upset, but Athena wasn't telling him anything useful. He returned the phone to his ear. "I can't do anything about I don't know, Athena."

"Bobby I really don't know. I…I'm scared." Athena told him.

Bobby felt a large lumb form in his throat. If Athena was admitting to being scared something was certainly wrong. "Are you sick? Are you hurt?" Bobby searched for answers. Maybe she had taken a nal and had a nightmare.

"I'm dizzy and lightheaded. I can't get off the bathroom floor." Athena said. "I…" she whimpered. The tears were falling freely down her face now.

"Athena?" Bobby could tell she was in pain. "What hurts?"

"The cramping. It really hurts. Childbirth was less painful." Athena groaned. Okay maybe that was an exaggeration, but at least she had gotten an epidural with both her childbirths. "I don't feel good." She repeated as her vision became blurrying again. Athena felt faint.

"Thena?" Bobby said after a moment. He heard no reply. "Thena? Are you still there." Bobby check to make sure the call was still connected. It was.

Bobby was on his feet in seconds racing for the door. "Let's go!" Bobby yelled running towards the truck. His team shared confused looks. The bell hadn't rung. 

"Where's the fire?" Buck joked quietly to Eddie who just shrugged. Buck got an explanation as soon a they were rolling out of the station.

"I was on the phone with Athena. She was complaining of light headedness and dizziness. She said she couldn't get up off the floor. I think she fainted." Bobby told his team. He didn't tell them Athena was pregnant. Michael and the kids didn't know yet. They had only just began discussing sharing the news. Bobby knew he might need to tell Chimney and Hen (which of course would lead to everyone else finding out) but he would only tell if it was necessary. They didn't even know what was wrong with Athena yet.

Bobby ran to the front door in front of his team. He scooped up the loose key from under the flower pot and opened the door.

"Athena!" He called out. 

"Bobby?" Came a quiet response. 

Bobby noticed the door to the bedroom was open and walked in. He saw the bathroom door was open too and Athena was on the ground. He wanted to run to her but let Chimney and Hen go ahead of him. He stood in the door way watching them.

Athena nodded or shook her head in response to their questions. If she found the strength she'd give a one word answer.

"Blood." Chimney pointed out. Hen and Bobby look down too. Chimney's first thought was Athena was on her period, but it didn't make sense with everthing else. "Athena, stay with us." He said gently. Athena was loosing consciousness

"Oh my God." Bobby felt his heart leap into his throat.

"Bobby if you know anything you've got to tell us." Hen told him. "We can't help if we don't know." She didn't even need to look at Bobby. Her tone was enough to shake Bobby from his trance.

"She's pregnant." 

"She needs a hospital." Chimney said without a reaction to Bobby words. Hen agreed. She called over her shoulder for someone to get the stretcher. Bobby was grateful for their professionalism. 

Eddie and Buck came in with the stretcher. Bobby didn't know what to make of the look on Buck's face.  
Bobby wanted to walk over and give the kid a hug. Buck had a disturbed look on his face. He looked at Athena with such concern.

"Here. I've got her." Bobby said as Hen and Chimney got ready to move Athena. Bobby bent down and picked her up. He gently set her down on the stretcher. Bobby, Eddie, and Buck stepped out of the way as Hen and Chimney pushed the stretcher.

The rest of the team shared confused and worried looks after Athena passed. No one dared speak to Bobby on the drive. It was a quiet ride. Bobby jumped down from the truck when they got to the hospital. 

Bobby followed Hen and Chimney inside. The rest of the team followed heading to the waiting room. They took a seat to wait for news. In a few minutes Bobby, Hen, and Chimney joined them. 

"The doctors are examining her now." Bobby annouced. He walked over and put his hand on Buck's shoulder. "You okay kid?" Buck just nodded.

Faster than Bobby would have expected Dr. Sandoval appeared.

Bobby walked over to her, "How's Athena."

"She's going to be just fine." She smiled. 

"And the babies?" Bobby asked trying not to apoear as scared as he felt. He didn't see the shocked looks shared behind his back by his team.

Doctor Sandoval nodded, "They are healthy and in no danger."

Bobby let out a sigh of relief. "So what happened?" Bobby asked.

"We are still running some tests. But right now my best guess is Athena's body was over stressed. I have a nurse sitting with her now." She glanced at his team. "She'll be in good hands Captain."

"Can I see her?" Dr. Sandoval nodded. Bobby turned to his team. "I'll be back in a minute." He turned and followed the doctor.

"Wow." Buck broke the silence. "Athena's pregnant." Everyone else just nodded still in shock.

"Hey." Bobby hurried to Athena's bedside. He took her hand between both of his. "I need to go back to work soon but I wanted to make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine." Athena told him. "Really I'm okay and the babies are okay too."

Bobby kissed her. "I was worried."

Athena put her hand on his cheek. "I'm going to call Michael and ask him to come get me. If it's okay with you I'm going to tell him the news too."

Bobby nodded. "Okay. Text me when you get home. I love you."

"I love you too." Athena kissed him then watched walk out the door.

  
Michael appeared in the doorway far sooner than Athena thought possible. "Did you speed all the way here?" She inquired.

Michael looked a little uneasy. He was debating whether to tell her he was actually walking his date back to work when she called. He looked down and smiled. Seems like everytime he had a moment with his new man his family was interrupting even if they didn't know it. 

"Michael?" Athena raised her eyebrow. She knew that nervous stance.

He finally looked at her. "I'm dating a doctor."

Athena beamed. "Hey! That's fantastic!"

"So yeah, I was actually across the hospital when you called." Michael walked over to her. "But what's wrong with you? Are you okay?"

  
"The doctors are running tests. I felt dizzy and faint." She left out the part about bleeding.

"Do they think maybe it's a concussion or something they didn't catch earlier?" He pressed for more information.

"No." Athena shook her head. "They think it was just me being over stressed and my body over working."

"Athena, you're supposed to be on bed rest. What they hell were you doing?" Michael was worried and irritated at Athena for not following doctor's orders.

Athena raised her hand, "I am. It's all the changes."

"What changes?" Michael didn't remember any mention of changes during her hospital stay.

"I'm pregant. With twins."

Michael stared at her in shock then laughed. "Congradulations!" He hugged her. 

"Thank you. We are thrilled. Well not at first but after we got over the disbelief."

"Ha!" Michael grinned. "How long have your known?"

"Since I was in the hospital. The tests the doctors ran when I first came into the ER revealed I was pregnant."

"So it wasn't planned?" Michael asked.

"At my age?" Athena look surprised. "Boy, it's a miracle."

"Right." Michael nodded. "How did you take the news?" He remembered the relief and joy that they had felt when Athena had been pregnant with May and then with Harry.

"Well, first there was the oh my God I'm pregnant at my age. Then there was the surprise, you're having twins." Athena told him.

"How'd Bobby handle it?"

"Better than I did." Athena smiled.

"I'm not surprised." Michael teased. He sobered up. "How are you feeling though?"

"I'm a mess." Athena admitted. "Between the attack and the pregnancy everything feels like too much right now."

"You've got Bobby and me and the kids. We're going to take care of you." Michael told her. "We've got you."

"I know." Athena smiled. She appreciated the love and support. Even if she wasn't sure what was going on in her own head, having support from her family meant alot. 

The pair fell into silence while they waited for Athena to be discharged. It was only about an hour. Dr. Sandoval reviewed the test results that found there was nothing alarming. She reminded Athena to relax and rest. She also repeated her warning that her body was still recovering from a trauma. 

Michael made sure Athena had snacks and water available next to her in bed before leaving. Athena assured him she was feeling better and that he could go. It was almost time for him to pick up the kids from school anyway. Athena texted Bobby that she was back home and going to take a nap.

  
Bobby came home from his shift quietly in case Athena was still asleep. Bobby put his bag down softly and walked into the bedroom. He walked over to Athena and kissed her forehead.

"I'm awake." Athena mumbled. 

"How are you?" Bobby asked sitting on the bed.

"I feeling much better. The tests didn't show anything. The doctor told me to keep being careful and to stay on bedrest.

"So they don't have any idea why you passed out and were bleeding?" Bobby was not at all reassured by the news.

Athena put her hand on his. "The good news is there is nothing actually wrong."

"Babe, why aren't you concerned? How is that good news?"

"Because the doctor said she was confident it was a result of my body being overwhelmed from the stress I've been under. Even though the accident was a month ago my body is still healing physically and emotionally which can be very stressful on a normal pregancy. And this is already a risky pregnancy." 

"Can I do anything?" Bobby wanted to help. He felt uneasy at the reminder that this this was a risky pregnancy. He sort of forgot with the distraction of Athena's parents had been, Athena starting to deal with the aftermath of the attack, his own healing, and going back to work.

"Right now you can come lay down with me." Athena smiled."

Bobby kicked off his shoes. "Here we go." He carefully climbed over Athena and then wrapped her in his arms. "How's this."

"Mm." Athena responded. She settled into Bobby's arms for a few minutes then spoke. "I was so scared. I didn't know what was happening."

"You called for help." Bobby said gently. 

"Thank you for coming." Athena said.

"Athena, I will always show up for you. I will always come when you call. You and this family are everything to me. I will be here for all of you." He put his hand on her stomach.

"I love you." Athena put her hand on top of his.

"I know there's been plenty of attention on our little ones today, but how are you?" Bobby was not going to forget she was still barely begining to process her trauma.

"Well I talked to the victim's advocate this morning. She's going to come over tomorrow again evening. I think I'm ready to look at that file and talk to her about what happened."

"I'm glad. You don't have to talk to me. But I do think you should talk to someone, so I'm happy to hear that."

"Bobby-."

"Stop. You don't have to appologize for not speaking to me. I know we have talked about some of our feelings. I know you're dealing with alot from that night, as am I, but if you do want to talk to me all you have to do is ask. I won't push you though and I understand if you don't want to talk to me." Bobby wanted to know what was going on in her mind but if she wasn't ready, he didn't want to force her.

"Thank you for understanding." Athena was relieved. The last thing she needed right now was Bobby pressing her for answers.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!

"I'm sorry I shut down on you the other night." Athena said to Kara once the two women were settled. "I know you were trying to help, you are trying to help. I shouldn't have taken my feelings out on you. But honestly, I don't know what my feelings are. I'm frustrated at myself for not remembering anything from that night. I'm disappointed in myself for putting myself in that situation that night. I'm reminded constantly of the fear my family is feeling because of me."

"Because of what he did to you." Kara corrected. "And I'm used to that type of response. Facing a trauma is not only a deeply personal experience, but it can be a scary."

Athena nodded. "My hormones are certainly not helping me straighten out my feelings." Athena touched her belly affectionately. "But these two have been a bright spot in this time, even if they did give me some problems the other day."

"Are you okay?" Kara asked.

"Fine. I had a scare the other day, but the doctors assured me it was just my body trying to keep up with the stress and trauma I've been going through. I guess what scares me most is I know I'm not even close to healed. I don't know what getting through this is going to do to me."

"Many people think once the trauma is over, healing is the easy part. But that is not true. For some, healing can be harder than the trauma. Again, everyone heals in their own way, at their own pace, but I haven't had one person tell me healing is easy. It's okay to be scared. All those things you are feeling, the frustration, anger, and disappointment are normal. And it's okay to be scared." Kara said gently.

"They don't feel normal to me." Athena admitted. "But I will try to keep that in mind."

"Where would you like to start?" Kara redirected the comversation.

"I tried to look at the folder you left me. I couldn't do it. I tried. I couldn't bring myself to ask Bobby to read it with me. He already went through it once, I didn't want to ask him to go through it again."

"We can go through it."

"Okay." Athena nodded. She was hesistant to look through the folder, but knew she would have to to recover.

"Take your time." Kara said as Athena stared at the folder in front of her.

Athena opened the folder tentatively. Athena sucked in a breath. The first thing that caught her attention where the photographs that were paper clipped to the front of the papers. Slowly she removed the paper clip and spread out the photos in front of her on the table. There were photos of her arm, her ribs, and her face, which were the most grusome. The dried blood from her nose and lip, her swollen eye, the bruises, and cut on her cheek. For a moment Athena was stunned. Although she didn't remember what happened, she could see the damage looked way worse than she thought it did. 

Kara watched Athena's eyes move from one picture to the next. She couldn't read the other woman's face. Kara allowed Athena some time to process what she was seeing.

"It's hard to believe that's me." Athena said quietly. For one thing, Athena hadn't imagined it looked as bad as these pictures. Also, with no recollection of the fight that had obviously ensued after the man came up behind her, Athena could only guess how she sustained these injuries. "I still don't know how any of this happened." Athena looked up at Kara. 

"It's alright. You need to give your memory time to heal too." 

Athena pulled the pictures of her face closer. She ran her fingertips over the bruise. By the time the picture was taken her cheek had been stiched up. In one picture the dried blood was still on her face and in the other the blood had been cleaned off. Athena touched her bruised eye in the picture. In a flash Athena saw his fist come out of nowhere and make contact with her eye. Athena yanked her hand away from the picture.

"I saw his fist make contact with my eye." Athena said quietly. 

Kara nodded slowly. "That's a start."

Athena moved the pictures to the side. She was scared looking at the pictures would draw more flashes of what happened. And as frustrated as she was with not remembering, a part of Athena didn't want to remember.

"Here's the police report of the incident." Kara indicated.

Athena looked down. She recognized the report form. Usually she was the one writing them. It was weird to see it written about her. Athena saw it was written by Sergeant Pascal and signed by Captain Maynard. Athena felt a bit conscious about her friend having read the report. Of course Elaine would have heard about it. Athena couldn't help but think Elaine might look at her different or judge her. Rationally speaking Athena knew Elaine wasn't like that. Elaine was more than Athena's captain, she was a friend. Athena felt uncomfortable as she looked at the other signatures. It was protocol but it made Athena feel like her truama was out in the open. She wanted to stuff but down and keep it private. 

Athena shifted her gaze back to the actual content of the report. She began reading slowly. Maddie had replied to her check-in. The next thing in the report was that Athena attempted to make contact with dispatch again. Athena read Maddie's attempts to reach her on the radio. She paused when she realized her mic had been open and saw that Bobby had called into dispatch to say the 118 was responding. 

"You don't need to read all of it right now." Kara reminded her. She coukd see something in the report caused Athena to stop.

"I knew my mic was open. I heard about that." Athena remembered her conversations with Bobby. Athena felt her stomach churn. "I think I'm done for now."

"Okay. That was good progress Athena." Kara smiled. Athena nodded and got up to walk Kara to the door.

**

"How's Athena?" Buck asked Bobby as soon as he spotted the captain. Buck had been asking him every day since Bobby returned from his leave when Athena was attacked. Only today the question had a different feeling.

Bobby glanced around at his team. He knew the question, or questions, they had. None of them had mentioned what they heard the doctor say in the ER for which he had been grateful. Now he could see that they were still wondering, waiting for him to say something to them.

"Athena is resting at home." He knew that wasn't what they were curious about. "And both babies are doing well." He added with a huge smile. There was an eruption of cheers from his team. When they settled down he continued. "We only just found out ourselves not too long ago." It had been weeks but felt like just a few days ago. "We were totally surprised by it, but are thrilled. It's not going to be an easy pregnancy but Athena's decided to go ahead with it. We haven't told the kids yet, but we will soon."

"I'm so excited." Buck's face was as happy as can be. He looked at the father figure in his life with such adoration. Bobby and Athena were going to be fantastic parents.

**

Bobby was surprised to see Athena's car was gone when he arrived home. He texted her. 

Bobby: I'm home. Did you go out?

Athena: I'm running an errand. 

Athena felt a little guilty. Yes, she was running an errand, but not the kind she knew Bobby would think she was doing. However, she didn't want him to know where she was.

"Athena." Sue greeted her at the elevator. "It is really good to see you." She beamed. 

"Thank you Sue." Athena smiled.

"Athena." Maddie came out of the kitchen. "How are you?" 

"I'm doing okay." Athena gave her a small smile.

"What can we help you with?" Sue asked.

"I don't remember much of anything from the attack. I'm starting to go through it with a victim's advocate. I was hoping to hear the recording from that night."


	12. Chapter 12

Maddie and Sue shared a quick look. Sue led Athena back to a room and Maddie went to get a computer. Athena rubbed her hands on her thighs as she sat down. She felt anxious and nervous. She started to wonder if maybe she should have asked Bobby to come. Sue left when Maddie returned. She wanted to give Athena privacy. Sue made sure the pair wouldn't be disturbed.

Maddie loaded up the call on the computer. She handed Athena a headset. "Press play whenever you're ready." Maddie sat back in her seat. She didn't know whether to watch Athena or look away. Maddie could see the change in Athena. The woman before her looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Maddie took a deep breath. She herself had dicussed what happened with her therapist and was still not over what happened that night. When Athena put on the headset Maddie averted her gaze deciding not to watch Athena, instead giving the other woman her space to relive that traumatic night.

Athena sat with the headset on for a moment. She had no clue what she was going to hear but tried to prepare herself. Athena hit play. She felt assured as she heard herself follow protocol and check in with dispatch. Athena tightened her hands into first as she heard herself try to make contact with dispatch right before getting attacked. She flinched at every sound of her attacker's fist making contact with her body or the sound of her body getting slammed into a wall. Athena closed her eyes. She could hear the higher pitch sound of her own grunts of pain. It was strange, yet scary to hear herself fight for her life. Athena jumped when the gun went off. She waited to hear more as the audio kept running. The silence was heartbreaking, even to her. Athena watched the seconds turn into minutes. Then finally she heard PD arrive at the scene. She heard one of the officers radio to dispatch when her colleagues found her, "Officer down." Next she heard the 118 arrive at the scene. Chimney's steady voice relayed to dispatch they were transporting her to the hospital. PD swept the scene, took the attacker into custody, and cleared the scene. 

Athena removed her headset and placed it on the table. Athena put her head in her hands and cried. She wasn't entirely sure why she was crying. It just felt like the right thing to do. Now she knew what Bobby heard. After Maddie got over her surprise she got up and hugged her friend. Through the tears and emotions Athena understood better. She realized now why Bobby looked as terrified as he did. It sounded about as bad as it could have. Athena admittedly had gotten her ass kicked. Athena couldn't blame Bobby for his reaction. What if he had grabbed her gun? What if her mic wasn't cued and no one knew she was attacked?

"Are you okay?" Maddie asked. In so many ways she knew her friend was not okay, but she still felt the need to ask.

"I will be." Athena managed to say. "I had no idea." Athena stared at the computer. "I didn't realize how bad it was." 

"It was a tough call to hear." Maddie agreed.

"Thank you for not leaving." Athena was actually glad Maddie had been in the room and she wasn't alone. Also she was thankful Maddie had stayed on the line that night.

"Of course." Maddie nodded. 

Athena stood up. "I need to go talk to my husband."

"Athena," Maddie stopped her. "How is Bobby?"

Athena wasn't sure how to answer. He seemed fine. He was going to work and his meetings. He was still Bobby, but he was hurting too. He was quieter than usual. They both talked about their experiences that night, but Athena was wrapped up in her pregnancy and own trauma that she hadn't stopped to consider his until Maddie asked how he was doing. 

"I don't know." Athena replied. "He goes to work, goes to his meetings, helps me and the kids, but he's hurting too. He went through his own trauma that night and I'm not sure what I can do. I don't think that saying I'm sorry I almost got myself killed is the best thing to say."

"Athena." Maddie said gently. She didn't know how else to respond. It was kinda true. But it felt wrong.

"I know I can't actually say that." Athena said. "Which is why I don't know what to say to him. I want to apologize but even Bobby will tell me it wasn't my fault. But it is my fault he had to go through that and I can't fix that."

"Athena, it's not your fault." Maddie tried to comfort her.

"I know. Or I'm working on accepting that, but I still feel like Bobby's going through this because of me. Because he loves me. Because I'm his wife. It sure as hell feels like my fault."

Maddie had nothing comforting to say to that. "Let me know if you want to talk."

"Thanks Maddie." Athena smiled she knew she had been a little harsh.

**  
"I'm back." Athena called out shutting the door behind herself.

"Hi mom." Harry greeted on the way to the kitchen. 

"You're timing is perfect. I'm just about to serve dinner." Bobby said then greeted her with a kiss.

"Where's May?" Athena noticed her absence.

"On the patio talking to Darius." Bobby replied.

Athena poked head outside. "Hi sweetie. Dinner." She came back to the table and sat down. May walked in a few moments later.

"Mom, you're back." May commented taking her seat.

"I was gone for like an hour." Athena replied.

"Where did you go?" Harry asked.

"I went out." Athena avoided answering. "I just needed to get out for a little. Bobby was well aware she was avoiding the question.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." May jumped in. "Doctor Sandoval's office called." 

Athena and Bobby both snapped their heads up. That caused May to look uneasy.

"They wanted to confirm your appointment for next week." May said tentatively. "Is everything okay?" She didn't like the reaction from Athena and Bobby. 

Athena relaxed. "Just fine." Athena smiled. She glanced at Bobby.

"Were you expecting some type of news?" May pushed the subject.

"No." Athena smiled at May. Really Athena and Bobby had been worried May had found out about the pregnancy.

"Well I told them you would call back to confirm the appointment." May returned to her dinner.

  
Athena took a sip of her iced tea and let out an internal sigh of relief. She was very glad she didn't get thrown it to telling her kids she was pregnant. That conversation was inevitable, but Athena wasn't quite ready for it.

  
Later that night once she was sure Harry and May were asleep and she and Bobby were in their room, athena brought it up.

"We're not going to be able to keep this secret much longer." Athena rubbed the side of her boob with the heel of her hand as she spoke trying to ease the ache. "It won't be long till I'm spilling out of my shirt." Athena referred to her growing breast. "And this baby bump isn't going to stay hidden for very long." Athena was already finding it a bit challenging to hide the small bump that was begining to grow, especially with the weather warming. "I know we talked about keeping it from them to see how things went. Especially right after we found out and we weren't sure. I think now it is the time to tell them."

"Okay." Bobby had agreed with Athena to wait a while and see. "Michael knows and the team knows. It's only a matter of time till someone lets it slip."

"Exactly!" Athena agreed, "And I want them to hear it from us." 

"How do you think they'll take it?" Bobby asked. It was something he'd given alot of thought to. 

"No idea." Athena said honestly. "When we told May we were pregnant with Harry she was thrilled. She couldn't wait to have a sibling. Until Harry started walking and talking and taking her toys." Athena smiled fondly.

"Brooke was the opposite when we told her." Bobby remembered. "She cried and begged us not to have the baby. She was not quite three at the time so she didn't understand that we wouldn't do that." His eyes dropped for a moment as he was lost in a memory.  
Athena gave him a few moments before she reached over and squeezed his hand. Bobby raised his eyes back to hers and smiled.

Athena looked into his warm brown eyes. They made her heart flutter a little faster. But there was something else in them. A barrier. A distance that quietly stood between them as each guarded a peice of themself from the other during this challenging time. Athena opened her mouth a few times without speaking. Finally she found words.

"Bobby. I… I am sorry." Athena said.

"What for." Bobby asked.

Athena thought for a moment of her conversation with Maddie earlier. She definitely wasn't going to say what she said to Maddie. "I'm sorry I haven't been there to support you." Athena found a different way to voice her feelings. "I haven't forgotten that you went through a trauma that night too. I haven't had the mental or physical strength to be the supportive partner you need me to be. I just wanted you to know that I know I haven't been there for you."

Bobby hugged her. "I'm glad you are talking to Kara. I'm glad you are healing. On top of it all you are carrying our babies." He touched her stomach tenderly. "You are already doing so much." As conflicted as Bobby was feeling, he didn't want Athena to be worried about him, especially after she was just in the hospital.

"That doesn't excuse my duty to you." Athena replied. "I am your wife, your confidante, your partner, and I have a duty to you too." Athena paused before asking him what she could do for him. A wave of guilt washed over her for hiding things from him. It was as if in that moment she realized it. "I went to the dispatch center to see Maddie earlier." Athena blurted out feeling the need to tell him. 

"Okay." Bobby thought it was a little odd. But maybe she needed a girlfriend to talk to and Hen had been at work with him. 

"I listened to the radio from the night of the attack." Athena confessed. "I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't know what you would think of me doing that. I felt the need to know. I haven't been able to remember anything. I needed something." Athena spoke quickly as if she thought Bobby was going to jump in and cut her off.

"Athena. I'm not mad." Bobby said gently. "I support whatever you think you need to do to heal. Did it help?" She seemed okay. Bobby wouldn't have guessed by her demeanor that night that she had done that.

Athena nodded. "It didn't jog my memory like maybe I thought it would, but I do feel better having at least that piece of the puzzle now."

"I'm glad. If there's anything I can tell you, let me know." Bobby replied 

"What about you? How are you?" Athena asked.

"I'm trying to take it one day at a time."

Athena nodded. "Okay, but what do you need? Do you need time? Counseling? Can I do something? What is going to help you get through this too?"

"I'm not sure." Bobby said. "Honestly seeing you healing makes me feel better." It had been a while since Bobby had really thought about his feelings. Instead they just were sort of tucked away, but always somewhere in his mind.

"Aw, that's sweet." Athena smiled. "But seriously. Take some time to think about it and let me know if there's anything I can do or anything you think of that you would like to do."

"I will." Bobby agreed. "What's next?"

"We keep taking it one day at a time. We take care of ourselves and our family."


	13. Chapter 13

  
Athena had fallen asleep much faster than she had in a while. She was hesitant to close her eyes, worried about what nightmarish terrors might plague her, but slowly she was healing. She was comforted by the sound of Bobby's steady breathes beside her. And before she knew it Athena was asleep. 

Her eyes opened slowly. The first thing Athena felt as she awoke was Bobby's arm gently draped over her. Athena smiled. She didn't startle at the feeling of Bobby being close to her. That was progress. She lay her hand on his arm, soothing herself with his presence. Athena rolled over. Bobby stirred, but didn't wake. Athena watched him sleep for a moment. "Bobby." She said gently. "Bobby." Athena said again more firmly.

"You're okay." Bobby told her his eyes still closed. It took him a moment to realize she wasn't having a panic attack or crying. "Athena?" He questioned now not sure why she was waking him up.

"Can we talk?" Athena asked.

Bobby flipped on his lamp and looked at the clock. It was only three in the morning. Bobby rolled back to face Athena. "Are you feeling okay?" Now his worry turned to the pregancy.

"I'm fine." Athena told him.

"Our babies causing you trouble?" He asked.

"It's nothing like that." Athena answered. "Bobby, I remember everything."

"I didn't remember accusing you of forgetting anything." Bobby wasn't sure what she was talking about. 

Clearly he didn't get what she was trying to say. "The attack. I remember it now."

Bobby was suddenly wide awake. "You just remembered. Just out of no where?"

Athena shook her head. "I think hearing the call actually helped. It's come in flashes. I don't see it in my mind like a movie. But I know." Her voice shook. "I know what he did to me."

Bobby thought his blood had turned to ice. The fear and pain in her voice broke a piece of him. Bobby had no idea what to say. He couldn't do anything to keep Athena from feeling powerless.

"I'm sorry." Athena sniffled. She was ashamed of herself, angry that she hadn't been able to fight off her attacker. She should have been prepared. She should have fought harder.

"Shh." Bobby wrapped his arms around her. "Don't apologize. It's alright." Athena was silent a moment than spoke a sentence that haunted Bobby too, something he had yet to be brave enough to say aloud himself. "He could have killed me."

Bobby couldn't say anything in response. The air vanished from his lungs. He heart ached and his body went numb. A shiver caused the hair on his neck to stand up. He felt sick. The thought of losing Athena was too much. Bobby couldn't bring himself to say anything in reply. He only held her tighter, silently thanking God that she was alive.

**

"Bobby," Hen sat down beside Bobby at the table. "How are you doing?" Hen was still worried about him. Athena was constantly on her mind too.

"I'm good." He set down his phone after texting Athena to check in. Both of them looked down at Bobby's phone when it chimed. "Athena is telling me she's fine and I don't need to ask her every twenty minutes." Bobby smiled.

Hen rolled her eyes. "Sounds like her." She was quiet a moment. "I know the other day wasn't exactly what you had in mind for telling us Athena was pregnant. I imagine it was a surprise." Hen could only guess how the new parents-to-be had felt when they found out. She didn't even know Athena and Bobby were thinking about having kids. Athena never said a word about it.

Bobby nodded. "It was a complete shock to us. We talked about for several days." Bobby paused then lowered his voice reducing the risk they would be overheard if anyone walked by. "I thought she was going to have an abortion." Hen could hide her shock. "I honestly did." Bobby continued. "I promised to love and support her regardless of the choice she made. I would have supported that choice. She don't believe me at first so we fought a little, tjen we talk talked and got some more information from the doctor. In the end Athena decided to go ahead with the pregnancy."

"I can only imagine what that was like for you."

Bobby shrugged. "I felt bad for Athena. After what she went through, then to find out she was pregnant and then to have to make that decision." He sighed heavily. "I know that wasn't easy for her. I felt guilty for putting her in that situation. But-" he stopped himself.

"What?" Hen pushed. 

"If she hadn't been attacked. Who knows when she would have finally realized she was pregnant. What that decision would have been. I don't think she regrets the decision at all. She's not necessarily glowing right now either. With everything she's still working through, the journey hasn't been easy and it's not going to be. I just wonder sometimes if she regrets it." Bobby didn't like to say it. But he had to tell someone and it wasn't going to be Athena.

"Bobby you can't think like that. You're right. This has been a tough time for Athena, and for you. It's not going to be an ideal pregnancy. Even if Athena wasn't going through what she is, it's not a typical pregnancy. That in itself is going to be stressful on you and her and your relationship."

"Of course." Bobby nodded. Having someone else's tell him what he knew was reassuring. 

"Speaking of you and Athena. Have you told Harry and May yet?"

Bobby shook his head. "We've talked about telling them and we did want to wait a little bit. Although now we are at the point where we keep saying we are going to tell them but just haven't done it. I think we're both anxious for their reactions. They are both old enough to really understand, it's not like telling a 3 year old. Between Michael's cancer and Athena getting injured, Harry and May have had quite a bit to handle in terms of family news. Not only are these babies altering our family dynamic, but it's not going to be an easy pregnancy which means things will be a little different. I know this is an exaggeration, but it's not like we're going to be twidling our thumbs for 9 months waiting for the babies to come. We want to be up front with them about that. Obviously we don't want to worry them without cause, but we don't want to sugar coat it either."

Hen listened attentively. "I hear you, but putting it off is only going to make you more anxious. I think it'll be best just to tell them, see how they react, and go from there. You could be worrying about nothing. Or one or both of them could not been so keen on having two baby siblings and you'll have to talk about it. Only way to be certain of their reaction is to tell them. Also, I can tell this is weighing heavily on you. The sooner you tell them, the sooner you can continue to focus yours and Athena's healing."

"I appreciate you letting me get things off my chest." Bobby smiled. 

"Always happy to listen." Hen nodded. "Speaking of listening…"

"Yes?" Bobby questioned. 

Hen looked down at her hands for a moment. "I had a conversation with Athena not long before the attack. She was not only in denial about what was going on with Michael, but about the danger in her own job. I tried to tell her Harry and May were maybe more prepared for the loss of a parent than she thought."

Bobby thought for a moment. "That makes a lot of sense."

"How so?" Hen asked.

"Athena is starting to tell me more about her feelings, but I can tell there is so much more she's holding in. It's not just the attack or the pregnancy. Even though she hasn't said much about it, I know her Sergeant Grant image has been shattered. Her confidence is way down. I don't know if she knows how to handle the shattering of that persona. With the pregancy she obviously won't be going out in the field anytime soon. I think it's just as important for her to heal that identity as much as anything."

"Has she talked about quitting?" Hen was honestly shocked, but that's what if sounded like Bobby was hinting at.

Bobby shook his head. "Not to me. I think she's definitely had the thought. I don't know if I should bring it up or not. She's already got more than enough on her plate and I don't want to add anything. But I also don't want her to make a decision about her future as a result of how she's feeling about something else."

"Makes sense." Hen agreed. "I don't have much advise. I think you should focus on what's most important right now and work your way towards the other things."

"Right." Bobby nodded. "Telling the kids I think is the priority. Once they know we can stop worrying about their reactions and really focus on the other things."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for... Athena and Bobby tell Harry and May.

  
"Why are we having a family meeting?" May was very worried. Family meetings usually meant nothing good. First it was news of the divorce, then Bobby's radiation exposure, and finally Michael's tumor. Well there had been one happy family meeting, when Bobby and Athena had sat May and Harry down to see how they felt about the couple getting married. "They never mean anything good." May commented taking a seat beside Harry.

"That's not true." Athena replied.

"Yes it is." May countered. "You called a family meeting when you and dad told us you were splitting up, to tell us Bobby might have been exposed to radiation, and then when dad told us about his brain tumor." May counted off the events on her fingers.

"Well this isn't bad news." Bobby assured them. He tried to sound confident. In itself having a baby was wonderful news, but Bobby was still wary that the kids may not see it that way.

"Bobby and I have some news to share." Athena started. Bobby squeezed her hand. He knew she was just as nervous as he was to see how the kids would react. 

"Good news?" Harry asked.

"When I was in the hospital I got some surprising news." Athena was careful not to categorize it as good or bad, and it had been quite a surprise. "The doctors ran a whole bunch of tests when I arrived in the ER." She saw Harry and May nod. 

"They found something." May concluded thinking she knew where the conversation was going. She now felt anxious. 

"They did." Athena said slowly. 

"What is it?" Harry asked unable to keep the worry from his voice. 

Athena took a breath and looked at Bobby. "I'm pregnant." She turned back to Harry and May to see their reactions.

Harry and May just stared in shock. Nobody moved or said anything for what felt like several minutes. Bobby and Athena watched the kids, waiting for them to say something. Harry and May were both speechless neither expecting to hear that.

"So we're going to have a baby sibling?" Harry said slowly.

"Actually two." Bobby finally spoke. "Athena is having twins." He smiled showing his joy.

Harry's mouth fell open. "Cool. I get to be a big brother. Are we having brothers or sisters?"

Athena glanced at May noticing the young adult had yet to say anything. She turned back to Harry. "We don't know yet."

"Your mother's been through a lot in the last few months. And this isn't going to be easy on her." He glanced at Athena, "But we're going to take care of her and the babies." Bobby assured them.

"When do we get to meet them?" Harry's face lit up. 

"In about 5 months." Athena smiled. She felt excited realizing how much time had passed since she first found out she was pregnant. She turned back to May. "Sweetie?"

"What?" May folded her arms.

"How do you feel about this?" Athena had an idea but wasn't totally sure.

"It's fine I guess." May didn't look at her mom or Bobby. "Can I be excused? I have a big test tomorrow."

"Yeah." Athena nodded. May got up without another word.

"Bobby, can we play cornhole?" Harry asked.

"Sure, why don't you go set it up and I'll be right there." Bobby wanted a quick word with Athena. Bobby watched Harry jump up and head out into the backyard. Bobby turned to Athena. "We did it." He felt much better now the kids knew.

"Yeah." Athena said although she sounded distracted. 

"Give May some time. It's a lot to digest." He knew what she was thinking. "Let her have some space to figure out how she feels. You or we can talk to her about it if we feel like it needs to be addressed. It's big news and she deserves some space alone to figure out her feelings."

Athena nodded. "Okay." She rubbed her stomach. "I'm glad I don't have to try and hide this from them." It was a big stress off her back to not try and disguise her pregnancy from her family.

Bobby kissed her head. "I love you."

"I love you too." Athena watches him get up. She felt very fortunate to have Bobby.

"May didn't even look at me during dinner." Athena said to Bobby as the couple got ready for bed. 

"She's still procesing the news." Bobby tried to comfort her. "Give her some more time. It took us several days for the news to sink in." He reminded her.

Athena was about to respond when there was a soft knock on the door. "Mom, Bobby?" May's voice sounded from the other side.

Athena glanced down at herself and Bobby to make sure they were presentable. "Come in." Athena raised her voice slightly. She knew Bobby hadn't locked the door yet.

May walked in and shut the door. "I'm sorry to bother you, but can we talk?"

"Of course." Athena nodded.

"Do you want me to leave?" Bobby looked between Athena and May. He wasn't sure if this was a mother-daughter conversation.

"No, I wanted to talk to both or you." May said. She walked over and sat on bench at the end of the bed. "I'm sorry if you didn't think I was happy about the news earlier."

"You don't have to apologize." Bobby assured her. "We understand it is a big deal. We understand that you need time to let the news sink it." Bobby reiterated what he had just told Athena. 

"I am really happy for you." May smiled. Her smile then faltered. "I've been thinking. I want to take a gap year."

Athena looked at Bobby then at May. "Was this Darius's idea?" Athena asked sharply. She didn't like the direction of this conversation.

"What? No!" May looked alarmed. Athena glared. "I promise." May insisted. "Bobby will be working, and you were just in the hospital mom. I thought I could be more helpful here helping you with the babies and taking Harry to school. I feel bad going off to college with everything that's happened. And dad's cancer could come back." May added as an afterthought. She thought her family life was quite chaotic at the moment and she felt bad leaving now. 

Athena was touched by May's thoughtfulness. "I love that you care and that you want to help. But honey, you need to live your life. Everything will be perfectly fine here. We'll have everything under control." Athena was sure her life would be quite hectic when the babies came, but she's raised two kids already. 

"We don't want you to feel like you need to stay. You'll have plenty of opportunities to help when you come visit us from colllege." Bobby told his stepdaughter.

"And if you go to USC you'll be able to come home as often as you want to see us." Athena joked.

May rolled her eyes, "Guilt trip." Athena and Bobby laughed. "I'm really happy for you." She beamed. May thought it was weird that her mom was having babies with someone who wasn't her dad but she was thrilled for her mom and Bobby all the same. Athena and Bobby could tell the weight she was carrying when she walked in had been lifted.

"We are so proud of you sweetie." Athena said.

"Promise you'll let me know when the babies come?" May asked.

"Absolutely." Athena nodded.

"You might even be home on winter holiday when it happens." Bobby said. 

"Okay." May got up. "I'll let you get to bed now. Sorry to barge in."

"May, you're never barging in. You can always talk to us. We are always going to be here for you. We love you."

"Love you too." May said pausing at the door. "Good night."

"Good night!" Bobby and Athena replied.

Bobby got up and locked the door. "I told you." He said kissing Athena.

Athena sighed. "Yeah yeah yeah." Athena chuckled. "The teenage whisperer." She laid down in Bobby's arms. "It is such a relief having told the kids."

"I know." Bobby agreed.

"They're feelings may change as they get accustomed to the idea or once the babies are actually here. But we're family. We'll work figure it out."

"Yes we will." Athena stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. "Bobby," she said.

The change in her voice made Bobby know she was moving onto a different topic. "I think we need help."

"What sort of help?" Bobby asked cautiously.

"Therapy." Athena turned to face him. "I think we both need professional help to work through our trauma. I know we keep saying we have each other to talk to, but I don't think that's enough." Athena admitted. "I'll have to do it anyway before I'll be cleared from medical leave. And Bobby," Athena paused. "I think you are hurting more than you want to tell me." Athena wasn't sure how he'd react to that.

"I think I am too." Bobby answered. "I know I am." He said quietly. He kept his worries bottled up. 

"I'm not saying we have to start tomorrow. But I think it's something we should both seriously consider."

"I'm willing to do that." Bobby agreed.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hi Kara." May opened the door. 

"Hello." Kara smiled and entered the house.

"Kara, thank you for coming." Athena greeted her.

"Athena, how are you?" Kara smiled. 

"I'm fine." Athena lied. May sensed her mother's discomfort and quickly left heading back to her room.

Kara didn't miss the change in Athena's tone when she replied. "Now the truth." She said after May was out of earshot.

"I'm not sure." The pair moved outside and took a seat on the patio. "We've spent a good deal of time the past week or so focusing on the baby news. Bobby and I told the kids the other day. That felt like a big weight off our shoulders. But now that is taken care of, we need to focus on ourselves."

"What do you mean by that?" Kara prompted.

"We've put all our attention on the babies and my health surrounding that, but we haven't focused much on our mental health. Bobby and I talked the other night. We're both not coping with the mental trauma. We've both decided we need to focus on that."

"What does that mean for you?" Kara asked.

"I listened to the 911 call of the attack. I more or less can recall what happened that night. I'm ready for your help." Athena admitted.

"I'm here to help you. Yes, I can help you prepare for your testimony, but I can also be a sounding board, a person to just listen, whatever you think is going to help you." She looked at Athena more closely, "Athena?" There was a blank expression on the other woman's face.

"I haven't even thought about testifying." Athena said, her voice barely a whisper. The first night Kara had come over Athena remembered being prepared to discuss the testimonies of the other victims. Athena, still adamant what happened to her was different and not related to the case against the serial rapist, had not given a thought to testifying herself. "He did not do to me what he did to those other women."

"I don't compare traumas." Kara reminded her gently. "He made you one of his victims. Your testimony would be just as meaningful as any of theirs."

"I'll have to think about it." Athena felt her guard going up. It happened when she was caught off guard and the possibility of testifying in court was definitely a shock. 

"Of course." Kara understood completely. Testifying in court was a very challenging task for many victims. 

Athena looked straight ahead. "I told you on that second day that I couldn't trust my gut. What he did shattered something inside me. I've trusted my gut for 30 years on the force. Yes, he could have killed me, but I fought for my life. There is no course in the police academy for an event like that. There's self-defense and investigation protocols, but that's it. It's all theory. I heard my gun hit the ground. When he threw me to the ground I knew I just needed to find my gun."

"And you did." Kara encouraged. 

Athena nodded. "I know, but." Athena stopped.

"You're questioning your actions because something happened to you. Not because you did something wrong." Kara tried to stress that distinction.

"That may be, but that doesn't change that I don't feel like I can trust myself."

"Athena, you need to give yourself time to heal. You'll find your trust in yourself again."

"How?" Athena asked.

"By believing in yourself, knowing you can do the job if you return."

"I don't know if I'm going to." Athena replied. She touched her bump. "I'll be out of the field for at least a year between this medical leave and maternity leave. After that who knows. I…I don't want to give it up now because it's the easy thing to do. I could give it all up right now. I could quit, but that doesn't feel right. I might regret that or I may not. I don't know. I want to be sure of my decision."

"Again, you don't have to decide today. Or tomorrow. Or even next week. You can decide when you are ready."

"But how do I decide?" Athena pressed. She felt lost. She never felt anything like how she was feeling now. Other than a couple bumps and bruises she's never been injured on the job. She didn't know how to recover mentally from injuries like these.

"I can't tell you that." Kara said gently. "I'll give you some time to think about testifying. I'm a phone call away."

"Thank you Kara." Athena meant it. While she had orginally put her guard up around Kara, Athena now appreciated having someone to talk to that wasn't Bobby. Someone who wasn't going to look at her the way her family did.

***

"Bobby?" Michael was surprised to find his ex-wife's husband at his door. 

"I'm sorry to drop by unannounced." Bobby meant it. After the incident at the holidays Michael had been courteous about giving Athena and Bobby a heads up before stopping by. Bobby usually afforded him the same courtesy. 

"It's fine." Michael was troubled by the look on Bobby's face. "Come in, come in." He waved Bobby inside. Michael fetched Bobby a glass of water.  
"Everything okay?" He asked as he gave Bobby the glass.

Bobby took a sip before replying. "When Athena was in the hospital you dropped by to see how I was doing. I told you I was coping. And I was. Or I thought I was. I gave myself a break, you know, let myself worry and have an emotional reaction. But I can't stop thinking about it. Everytime I look at her I can't help but think that I almost lost her. And I know she sees it." He stoppped and chuckled. "Oh she hates it." He sobered up. "But I can't stop. I tell myself it's part of the job, but the what-ifs haunt me Michael. If I had lost her..." Bobby trailed off, too overcome with emotion to continue.

Michael was sympathetic. He loved Athena, not romantically, but he still loved her. His heart had dropped when he got that call from Bobby. Michael had known from the begining that Bobby loved Athena. The emotion he was displaying now only proved just how far Bobby would go to protect her. "You want to protect her." Michael said. "You want to her to be safe."

"I promised her I wouldn't go off the deep end if something happened to her. I promised her I would stay sober. I am sober." He added quickly seeing the look on Michael's face. He paused. "When I thought she was dead, I went into that building armed. I grabbed the fire axe before going in to find her. I can't tell you what I would have done if she had been killed. I saw her attacker and I thought about it…my grip tightened on the axe. All I felt in that moment was white hot anger."

"What stopped you?" Michael knew they were way off topic now but he couldn't help his curiosity.

"One of the officers pulled my attention to her." Bobby said quietly.

"So you can't bring yourself to tell her you almost broke a promise?" Michael asked not quite sure what was going on.

"I feel like I'm hiding if from her if I don't, but I didn't break the promise either."

"It sounds like you want to tell her."

"She said to me the other night that she thinks I'm not okay. I'm not. I told her that. She thinks I should go to therapy." Bobby knew his trains of thought were kinda all of the place but they weren't even straight in his mind.

"What do you think?" Michael asked.

"I don't think it will stop me from worrying."

"No one's asking you to stop caring or worrying." Michael cut in. "Look I'm not a therapist. And I am definitely not going to try and predict what Athena is thinking. But I think you need to figure out what is going to help you. It's healthy to be worried and concerned for her. It's not healthy for you to be stuck on this."

Bobby nodded. "Thanks." He did feel a little better.

  
Bobby drove home and made he decision. He was going to tell Athena. He didn't want to hide anything from her, especially not now.

He walked into the bedroom and dropped his phone and wallet on his night stand.

"You're later than I expected." Athena commented.

"I stopped by to see Michael after my meeting." Bobby replied.

Athena's interest was piqued. "Oh?"

"You can ask." Bobby told her. Only in the back of his mind did it occur to Bobby that Athena usually wouldn't be so heistant to ask him something.

"What did you discuss?" Athena felt awkward asking. A part of her felt like she shouldn't pry while on the other hand he did just say she could ask.

"This and that." Bobby shrugged. 

"Insightful." Athena remarked not sure why she even bothered to ask.

Bobby pulled down the covers on his side of the bed. He just stood there not making any move to get under the covers. 

"Bobby?" Athena wasn't sure why he was hesitant to get into bed.

"I have to tell you something and I'm not sure how you'll react.

Athena felt worried. With all that had happened recently she had no idea what he was about to say to her. "Okay." She said slowly bracing herself for she didn't know what, but what ever it was, it didn't feel good.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Seeing the look on Bobby's face made Athena think of a hundred things that he could tell her. All of them worst than the last. Seeds of doubt buried their way into her mind. Yes, their relationship hadn't been perfect the past few weeks. They each had things they weren't willing to share and their communication was not as solid as usual. However, all that aside, Athena didn't think their relationship was in a bad place. Of course her instant reaction was to think he wanted to say something about their relationship. Just with her history, it was her instinct to think that was what he wanted to talk about.

"I haven't been honest with you. I made you a promise and…" he trailed off. His skin warmed as he felt ashamed.

"Bobby." Athena's voice was barely a whisper. She felt her heart crack. He was cheating. That was her first thought. Or he no longer loved her. 

"I promised you that if anything happened to you I wouldn't lose it, I'd stay sober." He started slowly, his confidence to keep going growing with each word. "And I have wanted to break that promise everyday. I haven't. But some days I've been far too close to the edge for comfort." 

Athena laughed. Not because she thought it was funny but because of the sheer relief she felt.

"You're laughing." Bobby would never have expected that reaction.

"It's not funny." Athena said. Her laugher soon turned to tears. "I thought you were…cheating or were going to tell me you didn't want to do this anymore."

"What?! No!!" Bobby got on the bed and crawled over to her. "Honey come here." He hugged her. "I love you." He kissed her head. "I'll never, ever leave you." He rested his cheek on her head. "I thought you'd leave me." He said heavily.

"Now whatever gave you that idea?" Athena said sharply. "You are not getting away from me that easy. Need I remind you, you knocked me up with not one, but two babies." She teased trying to lighten the mood.

Bobby got serious again. "I didn't enter that storage facility with a level head. I feared the worse. I… I grabbed an axe. I wanted to revenge you. If he had killed you, I would have..." He looked down. "I made a promise to you that I would be okay if something happened to you, but after seeing it, hearing it, I faltered."

"You were scared and angry." Athena said gently. "I don't blame you." She changed to her other worry. "How comfortable are you feeling with your sobriety?"

"I was so worried about you at first, and then the babies. It wasn't until we left the hospital that I gave drinking a thought. I think about it now more than I should." He admitted. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I can't stop worrying. I keep going back to that night and what could have happened."

"Bobby, you are going to drive yourself crazy. You can't do that to yourself." Athena told him. "That constant worry will push you over the edge."

"I know." He nodded. "I don't know how...I don't know how to stop. So um, I'm going to try therapy. I think I need some professional help with this."

"Okay." Athena said. "I support your decision. You went through something that night too." She reminded them both.

"How was your visit with Kara?" Bobby changed the subject.

"It was good." Athena actually smiled. "I think we are making progress." She didn't tell him about the possibility of her testifying. She didn't think Bobby could handle that discussion right now. And until Athena decided, Athena didn't feel the need to discuss it with Bobby. "Elaine is going to come by tomorrow."

"Are you ready for that?" Bobby's protective nature coming through.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.

"You don't think having her here will remind you too much of work? I know she's your friend, but she's also your boss."

"We'll be fine. I'm a bit more interested in her reaction when I tell her I'll be going on maternity leave later this year."

"I'm sure she'll be happy for you." Bobby squeezed her shoulder. "I don't think you have to worry about that."

Athena got up when she heard a knock. Admittedly she was a little anxious to see Elaine. For one, Elaine, while her friend, was also her boss and Athena wasn't sure how she would feel talking to Elaine after everything. Also, Athena's baby bump now was obvious. It wouldn't take more than a few seconds for Elaine to notice.

"Elaine, come in." Athena smiled. 

Elaine stood on the step her eyes fixed on Athena's stomach. "Athena, congradulations." A smile spread over her lips then faded. "If I had known, I wouldn't have brought a bottle. She held up the wine she brought.

"No worries." Athena waved her in. She took the bottle and brought it into the kitchen to store in the wine rack. "Make yourself at home." Athena said taking a seat on the couch. "I am five months pregnant with twins." Athena answered the question Elaine had yet to ask. "I didn't know I was pregant till I was in the hospital." She added. Shs had seen the wheels turning in Elaine's head trying to establish a timeline. "Everything has been going relatively smoothly." Athena rubbed her belly.

"Athena, I'm so glad." Elaine looked relieved. "How have you been doing?" She finally asked.

Athena sighed. "It's been very overwhelming." Athena said honestly. 

"Well you're not just dealing with the attack, but also pregnancy hormones."

"And complications." Athena added. "Nothing serious. Just lots of caution and rest. So the pregnancy will take all the attention and then a week will go by and I'll realize I haven't worked on my trauma. I know my family thinks about it every day. They are all coping in their own ways. There is only so much time in the day. But as the weeks pass I think they are all thinking I'm getting better, but I'm not. I mean I am working on it. I'm talking to the victim's advocate. Bobby and I are kind of talking."

"How is Bobby?" Elaine asked.

"I worry about him. He's sober and going to meetings. But like it has been for me, it has overwhelmed him too. He's talking about going to therapy. I'm trying to be the supportive wife but I also am dealing with alot. Also, it's still not easy for us to talk to each other. It feels uncomfortable. We both are tense and guarded and don't know what to say to each other. I haven't even told him I'm thinking about testifying. He's not going to like it."

"No, but I think he will understand." Elaine said. "If you want to, I think he will support you."

"You've met my husband." Athena looked incredulously at Elaine.

"I have." Elaine said slowly.

"Ha!" Athena said drily. "That man won't let me anywhere near that couthouse if my attacker is there."

"Why do you say that?" Elaine leaned against the back of the couch.

"He brought an axe into that storage building. He was ready to avenge me. He won't let me go alone and I can't let him anywhere near that guy."

"You sound pretty sure of how that is going to go."  
Elaine didn't know Bobby too well, but Athena seemed sure.

"I know my husband." Athena nodded.

"So you don't want to tell him because you don't want him to tell you not to testify."

"I don't want him to try and sway me before I figure out if I'm going to do it." Athena explained.

"Still, don't you think you're putting words in his mouth."

Athena shrugged. "Maybe. But I still am pretty sure."

"He might surprise you." Elaine told her.

"I'll let you know." Athena said.

"And Athena, if you do decide to testify and you don't want him there or he doesn't want to go, and you want someone there, you can always call me." Elaine had been through many highs and lows with Athena over the years.

"Thank you Elaine. I really do appreciate it." Athena gave a small smile. 

"That goes for more than testifying." Elaine added. "You may want some space from the department right now, but don't hesitate to pick up the phone if you need anything. Medical leave or not you're still part of the family."

"I know." But Athena didn't meet Elaine's gaze. Athena didn't feel like part of the department. She felt isolated and alone in her truama and recovery. Elaine's words were comforting even if Athena didn't feel that bond with the department right now. She felt like a civilian, an identity she hadn't had in 30 years. This was more than a few days off, and that was one more thing Athena was still wrapping her head around.


	17. Chapter 17

"My wife is a first responder too. She's a LAPD Sargeant." Bobby smiled proudly. He always did when he thought of her and her work. He sighed. "A few months ago she got injured on the job." He looked down at his hands. "I haven't been able to get over that. My team and I responded to the call." He stopped. Just talking about the incident was hard for Bobby as the memories from that night came flooding back.

"Take your time." Carl said encouragingly. 

Bobby glanced at Carl then out the window. It was easier for him than looking at Carl while he talked about that night. "Athena cued her radio to dispatch right before she was attacked. Her radio was transmitting the whole time. We could hear her over the radio struggling against her attacker." 

"That couldn't have been easy for you." 

Bobby shook his head. "I thought she was dead. That gun went off and I...I thought I lost her." Bobby's insides knotted. "I know I didn't. I know she's alive, but I keep going back and thinking what if." He looked down. "I know it's part of the job. Nothing is guaranteed, but hearing her struggling, listening to her fighting for her life, I was not prepared for that." 

"Bobby, it's okay to have feelings." Carl said gently.

"I felt so powerless knowing I couldn't do anything, but pray to God she would be okay. All I could think about was that I would do anything to help her. I was thinking like a husband, numb with fear at the possibility of losing my wife. I didn't react in that moment as I should have. I refused to change the radio channel, I stormed into that building without waiting for LAPD to clear it. I broke at least six protocols, maybe more. I'm a Captain. I'm supposed to set an example for my team. I'm supposed to be the one who is level headed and keep everyone else in line."

"I don't think anyone expects you to be emotionless in your job, and especially not in a moment like that."

"Maybe not." Bobby shrugged. "But Athena and I have talked about the possibility that one of us might not make it home one day. I promised her I wouldn't fall of the wagon if she didn't make it home. I promised her I would keep my sobriety, that I wouldn't lose it." He looked down feeling ashamed and weak. "Now that I've seen her get hurt. Now that I've actually thought she'd been killed. I- I- don't know if I can keep that promise." He took a moment. "When I thought she was dead I felt empty. I couldn't believe it. All I felt was pain. It felt like my world had literally crashed down around me. I want to say I would have been strong for Harry and May, but I was a wreck. I don't know if I can go through this again. I know Athena. She's going to want to get back out there as soon as she can. I just don't know if I can handle the thought of her being in danger again. I don't know where that will leave us." Bobby finally stopped talking feeling like he had been going on and on. 

"Don't you think Athena should be able to make that choice?"

Bobby nodded. "Absolutely. I just don't know how I'm going to feel about that."

"There's some time before that decision needs to be made. Let's go back to that night. I want you to walk me through it again." Carl asked.

***

Athena waved at Bobby when he walked through the door. She was on the phone so Bobby just waved back. He took a seat on the arm rest of the couch and waited for her to be done.

"Does tomorrow at eleven work?" Athena was saying. "Okay, see you then."

"What was that about." Bobby asked putting his arms around Athena's waist after she hung up.

"I'm going to meet Kara tomorrow to start working on my testimony." She kissed Bobby hello.

"What testimony?"

"I'm going to testify against my attacker at trial." Athena said casually.

Bobby gently pushed Athena away from him. "What are you talking about?" Bobby stared intently at her.

"I was a victim too." Athena said quietly. "I've been talking it over with Kara and I'm going to testify."

"No." Bobby said flatly. Athena rolled her eyes. She anticipated this exact reaction. Bobby was very protective, something she loved and usually found quite attractive, but this wasn't about him. "Don't roll your eyes at me!" Bobby raised his voice. 

"Bobby." Athena kept her tone light. "It's not up for discussion."

"I think it is." Bobby repeated. "We definitely should talk about this." Bobby got to his feet.

"No." Athena shook her head.

"Athena." Bobby growled voicing his displeasure. He stopped when she put her hands on his face and kissed him.

Bobby gently pulled her hands from his face and broke the kiss. "You are not going to distract me with sex. We are going to talk about this."

Athena raised her eyebrow partially amused he thought she was trying to seduce him to get her way. Athena wouldn't deny using seduction to her advantage in the past, but that was not what she was trying to do now. Aside from the fact they hadn't had sex in months, Athena wasn't even sure she was ready for that. With the physical changes from her pregnancy and the mental ones from her trauma, sex was not even really on her mind. That however, was an issue for another time. Athena turned her focus back to the matter at hand. "Bobby." Athena tried again. "I know you want to protect me. I'm going to be okay."

"I don't want you anywhere near him. Just the thought of letting you do that makes my skin crawl. I don't want want him anywhere near you. I don't want him looking at you. I don't like it Athena, I don't!"

"Again, it's not about you." Athena told him.

"Exactly." Bobby pushed on. "What happens when you see him? What happens when you have to share every detail from that night. Baby, I'm worried about how this will affect you."

"I've testified a hundred times before." Athena countered.

"You weren't brutually attacked by any of those people." Bobby dead panned.

Athena, who had opened her mouth, ready to respond, shut her mouth abruptly. She glared at Bobby. "That's not fair." 

"Really?" Bobby challenged, "because that is exactly my point."

"What about what this testimony will do for me?" Athena retorted. "What about my ability to let go and move on? Does that matter to you? What about my ability to see this guy go to jail for a very, very long time? Does that mean anything to you? Isn't that what you want? This isn't just about me detailing what happened to me. This is my opportunity for closure. So, I'm really not asking you if I can testify. I'm telling you. Bobby, I am going to testify at that trial with or without you approval."

"I don't like it." Bobby replied.

"I know you don't." Athena said gently. "And honey, I hear you okay? I hear what you are saying, but this is my choice."

Bobby sighed loudly. He closed his eyes for a moment then looked at Athena. He just nodded, accepting she was going to do it.


	18. Chapter 18

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Bobby asked Athena as they laid in bed.

"Let's not do this." Athena replied.

"What?" Bobby asked turning his head.

"You know what." Athena folded her arms. "I don't want to fight over this again." For almost a month she and Bobby had gone back and forth over her testifying. Athena groaned and readjusted her position. Her ever growing bumb was starting to get in the way of her usual sleeping position. "You ask me how I'm feeling about it, I say fine, you doubt me, and then we fight over it. I'm tired, my feet hurt, and I have a big day tomorrow, so can we skip to the end where you tell me you love me and support me even though you don't like my decision and so we can go to sleep?" She didn't mean to sound harsh, but she was tired and cranky.

Bobby threw down the covers and got out of bed. "Fine."

"What the--" Athena glared.

Bobby took a seat at the end of the bed and put Athena's feet in his lap. "Close your eyes and relax." He started rubbing her feet. Bobby was quiet for a few minutes before speaking. He watched Athena settle into the bed and knew she was more relaxed. "I know you are going to walk into that court room tomorrow and testify."

"Bobby." Athena groaned. She was anxious enough without Bobby's resistance and constant desire to talk about.

"Let me finish." He shot back. Bobby cleared his throat. "I think part of the reason I've been so set against this is because I cannot forgive him. I can't let it go. If I had five minutes alone with him…" Bobby realized he had been taking his anger out on her feet when she instinctively tried to pull them back. "Sorry." He eased his touch. "I don't know what putting you in that courtroom is going to do to you. I can't know how you're going to react till you are there. I want to protect you. I can't protect you when I don't know what you're going to face. It makes me feel powerless."

"Bobby." Athena said quietly. She was very touched. He cared so deeply for her wellbeing and safety. It is who he is. Something that made him a wonderful firefighter and leader. It was a quality that made him a pasionate stepfather and dedicated husband. It is a trait engrained in his character. 

"You are going to do amazing. I know I haven't said it, but I'm really proud of you for doing this. And know that whatever happens in that courtroom tomorrow, I'll be waiting for you when you get home."

"Thank you Bobby." Athena finally felt heard on the issue. 

Bobby smiled and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Bobby kissed her again. He kept his weight off of her leaning on one hand while his another hand stroked her side.

"Athena." Bobby whispered dropping his lips to her neck. Athena whimpered her hormones intensifying her emotions. 

Bobby's hand moved down over her bump. Athena froze. "Stop." She panicked.

Bobby rolled off her giving her space. "Baby, are you okay?" He asked. Athena wasn't entirely sure what happened. One moment she was enjoying Bobby's attention and the next she panicked. "Athena?" He didn't like her silence. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." Athena shook her head. "I'm just tired." She replied.

"Okay." Boby pulled the covers back up around her. He kissed her forehead. "Good night."

Bobby laid down next to her. He was worried. Athena had lied to him. That wasn't an "I'm tired" stop. Bobby felt little comfort by her telling him he didn't hurt her. Bobby was disappointed Athena had lied so obviously to him. But he wasn't going to bring it up now. With the testimony tomorrow he didn't want to upset her, but he would bring it up to her later.

  
Athena was quickly out of bed the next morning when her alarm went off. She was in the shower before Bobby could say he was fully awake. Bobby got up and made his way into the kitchen. He had a bad feeling about today. He told himself everything was going to be fine but a part of him didn't believe it. Bobby didn't know if it was because he never fully accepted Athena's decision or if he just had bad thoughts because the trial reminded him of what happened.

"Here." Bobby handed her breakfast when she sat down at the table. 

Bobby sat down next to her. He wanted to ask how she was feeling. She looked fine. Her hair was still damp from her shower. She had on her bathroom and slippers. Bobby felt like he was radiating anxiety. He knew he was being dramatic. He was feeling irrational so he just stayed quiet. Bobby didn't want to upset Athena this morning. He took their dishes to the sink while Athena went to change. He was grateful to have something to occupy his hands.

"It still fits?" Athena turned at the sound of Bobby's voice. He was standing in the doorway.

"I had Elaine bring by a bigger size." Athena replied to his comment about her shirt. Her baby bumb was too big to fit under her normal size uniform top. 

Athena turned back towards the mirror. She almost didn't recognize herself. Athena clenched her jaw as she put on her tool belt. Her eyes caught sight of her gun on the dresser waiting to be added.

"Are you okay?" Bobby asked crossing the room.

"No" Athena's voice was shaking. She was having flashbacks. Athena grabbed his hand.

"Athena, take a deep breath." He told her gently. He rubbed her back. "Good." He encouraged her.

"I didn't know what to expect when I put on this uniform again." Athena said quietly. She felt sick to her stomach. She felt felt like an imposter. "I thought it would feel good. I thought I'd feel like my old self." Her mind flashed back to the hospital. She could hear doctors and nurses talking over her. She tried to move her head but a nurse gently told her not to. Athena had caught a glimpse of the shredded remains of her top sitting in a heap on the gurney. She quickly put the pieces together. Someone had to cut it off her. Athena looked up into the face of the nurse standing by her head. The woman gave her a warm, comforting smile, and then Athena was out again. 

"Baby?" Bobby tried to pull her from her thoughts. "You're shaking."

"I-" Athena turned and looked at him. 

Boby looked down at her. She looked scared. It pained him to see her without her usual confidence. It took everything for him not to say I told you so. That would only hurt her more. She just needed him to support her in this moment. Bobby lifted her chin. "You're going to do great. You are strong and fierce. You can do this. I believe in you. I love you."

"I.." She turned back to look at herself in the mirror again. "I don't know." Something unsettled her, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what. 

Bobby hugged her, his arms reaching around her belly. His rested his chin on her shoulder. Athena sighed. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek. The couple stood in silence for a few minutes.

Athena eventually stepped out of his embrace to finish getting ready. Bobby's head snapped up when the doorbell rang.

"I got it!" They heard May call out. Bobby turned back to Athena assuming it was a friend of May's or Darius. "Mom," May knocked on the door. "Elaine's here."

"I'll be right there." Athena called back. She turned to Bobby. "I asked Elaine to come for moral support." The friends had a special bond. Elaine had been there for most of Athena's career, from the highlights to the lowlights. Bobby just nodded. Sure he wished she had invited him, but he understood why she didn't. He was just glad she wouldn't be alone. 

"I love you." Athena kissed him.

"I love you too." Bobby was relunctant to let her go.   
Athena touched his cheek. She knew he was trying to be supportive. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back.

"Ready?" Elaine asked. She was dressed in slacks and a blazer, opting not to wear her uniform since she was going as Athena's friend not in her capacity as Police Captain. 

Athena nodded. "As ready as I will be."

Bobby watched them leave. He looked around as the door shut behind him. What was he going to do until she got back? It could be hours. Bobby went to the kitchen. He was going to do what he he always did when he was feeling anxious and stressed: bake.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena testifies

  
"Are you ready?" Elaine asked Athena after she parked the car Athena nodded. "Athena?" Elaine looked at her.

Athena smiled. "I feel calm. I've done this before. I know what to expect. But it feels different."

"It's not going to be the same." Elaine said gently. 

"We better get in there." Athena said. She glanced down at her phone. Kara texted her to let her know that she was waiting inside.

Elaine gave Athena a reassuring squeeze then took her seat. Like Athena she was familiar with the way court went. Athena sat next to Kara. Athena rubbed her bump. It helped calm her down. It also made her remember who she was doing this for. It wasn't just for her. It was for Harry and May, Bobby, and their babies. 

"How are you feeling?" Kara whispered.

"A bit anxious." Athena admitted. She was starting to second guess her decision to wear her uniform. It felt foreign. It didn't provide her with the confidence it usually did.

Kara squeezed her hand. She knew Athena was ready. They had spent weeks preparing for this moment. "Take your time answering the questions. It's okay to say I don't recall." Athena nodded thankful for the little reminders. 

As she got up to take the stand Athena glanced at Elaine. The captain nodded subtly. Athena took the oath and sat down. The victim's attorney started with easy question. Athena described her position and responsibilities as a a Police Sargeant. He asked her a few questions about the investigation and her role on the task force. Slowly the attorney was building up for the main point of her testimony. Then he asked Athena the question she knew was coming.

"Sargeant, can you tell me what happened when you went to investigate Studio Self Storage?"

"The storage unit wasn't my initial destination. We, the task force, were curious about repeat charges at the coffee shop."

"Why the coffee shop?"

'"There were repeat charges and the coffee shop was located in area not near his work or home. We concluded there must have been something in the area of the coffee shop that was of interest to him so I went to investigate."

"You went alone?"

"I did." Athena confirmed. "I'm a field sargeant. I don't have a partner in the field with me."

"What happened when you got to the coffee shop?"

"It was closed."

"What did you do next?" 

"Well I turned to leave and noticed the storage building across the street. I thought it could be a piece in the puzzle so I went over there."

"Did you see anyone?"

"No. The power was out so there wasn't anybody around. I called my colleague to give him an update. I decided to take a look around. I checked in my location to dispatch and went in."

"What did you find?"

"I found an open storage unit that looked like someone was living in it. I tried to radio for back up and detectives."

"Tried?"

"Yes, I was attacked before I could finish the call to dispatch."

"Describe the attack for me."

Athena took a moment to breath. Imagines from the attack flashed in her mind. "I never saw his face. He attacked me from behind. I dropped my flashflight. It is still a blur, but we fought. In the end I managed to discharge a non lethal shot. I remember placing him in handcuffs then I tried to get out but I passed out."

"Can you you tell me anything more from that night?"

"My radio was still on to dispatch so they were able to dispatch backup and medical. I was in and out of consciousness so I don't recall what happened after I passed out."

"Thank Sargeant for your testimony and service." The attorney sat down. 

The attacker's attorney stood up ready to cross examine Athena. Athena braced herself. She reminded herself to stick to the facts.

The attacker's attorney asked Athena if she could tell him what LAPD's protocol was for conducting investigations. Athena answered. He asked a few more questions about procedures that Athena wasn't sure were totally revelant but her attorney didn't object so she answered.

"Now Mrs. Grant." The attorney began.

Athena interrupted. "It's Sargeant Grant, counsel. I'd like to be addressed properly as I'm sure you would."

"Of course, my apologies Sargeant." He corrected himself. "Sargeant, would you agree that you have a history of bending the procedures for you're own gain."

"No." Athena replied resisting the urge to cross her arms defensively. 

"No?" He questioned. "Tell me Sargeant Grant, were you not placed on suspension for violating protocol in an investigation last year?"

Athena's eyes flickered to Elaine. Was the investigation into Emmett's murder really about to be thrown in her face? Athena looked then to Kara, but there was nothing reassuring in her expression. Finally her eyes rested on her attorney as he stood to object. "Objection your honor, irrelevant."

"Counsel?" Judge Thornton turned to the attorney questioning Athena.

"Your Honor, it's revelant to Sargeant Grant's job and her conduct the night in question."

"I'll allow it." Judge Thornton nodded. "Sargeant, please answer the question."

"Yes."

"Sargeant Grant, on the night in question you violated provision 567 subsection(b) of the LAPD investigation regulations is that correct?"

"I can't say, I'm not familiar with that specfic provsion."

He handed her the manual. "Sargeant will you read the highlighted code section aloud please."

Athena read it, "Provision 567(b) When investigating a building, dwelling, or like structure where an officer knows or reaonably suspects to find a suspect or person of interest, the officer shall not proceed with an investigation until that offficer has sufficent back up.

"Having read the code section Sargeant, do you agree that you violated it."

"No." Athena replied.

"Before going into the building Sargeant you reported to your colleague that quote 'I have a feeling'. Is that correct?"

"I don't recall saying that specifically."

"But you remember making the call?"

"I do." Athena agreed.

"I have here a transcript of the call." He read aloud the revelent part.

"So you did believe you were going to find someone in the building?" He pressed 

"No. Living in a storage unit is a violation of the law, so no I did not believe I was going to find anybody inside."

Athena's attorney got up for rebuttal. "Sargeant Grant, can you explain to the court the reason for your suspension last year?"

"Objection!" The other attorney shot to his feet. "Irrelevant."

"Your Honor. Opposing counsel used the information to smear Sargeant Grant's testimony, thus attacking her credibility. Sargeant Grant should be given the opportunity to set the record straight."

"Very well." The judge agreed. "Sargeant Grant may answer. Sargeant, remember you are under oath."

"Yes your Honor." Athena replied. She glanced at Elaine before continuing with her explanation. "My fiancè was shot and killed over 30 years ago. His murder was never solved. Last year the murder weapon was recovered. I did the investigation myself and found the man responsible."

"Were you suspended?"

"I was suspended pending an investigation. And then cleared to return to work."

"No further questions for this witness." The attorney sat down. 

Athena sat down again. "Great job." Kara whispered as the trial was still proceeding. 

"I know we prepared for my record to be examined but I wasn't expecting Emmett to be brought up." Athena admitted.

"You handled it well." Kara assured her.

Bobby jumped when he saw his phone light up. He dusted his hands on his apron and picked up his phone. It was a text from Elaine.

Elaine: Athena just finished. Defense attorney went low but Athena handled it well. We'll leave as soon as there's a break.

Bobby: Thanks!

Bobby breathed a sigh of relief. He was curious about what Elaine meant by the other side going low, but he wasn't going to ask. He knew she really shouldn't be texting in the courtroom. Bobby turned his attention back to his cherry pie, the culmination of his stress about Athena's testimony in a delightful pie. He placed the pie in the oven and set the timer. The bad feeling he had when the day started was gone. 

  
Elaine parked the car in Athena's driveway. Athena made no effort to get out. She turned to Elaine. 

"Thank you for coming today. I know it's probably the last place you wanted to be on your day off."

"I would have been there regardless. As your friend I wanted to be there to support you. As your captain, I wanted you to know the department supports you. Coming back is probably the last thing on your mind right now, but know we'll all be ready to welcome you with open arms when you're ready."

"Actually I have given it some thought." Athena said. "I don't know if I'm going to come back." She said. slowly. 

Elaine couldn't hide her surprise. "Wow." Her eyes travelled to Athena's bump. 

Athena noticed. "In part it's the pregancy." Athena acknowledged. "It definitely is giving me a different prospective and does shuffle my priorities."

"That's completely understandable."

"I mean I don't know." Athena said quickly. "I know I'm not ready right now. Even if I wasn't pregnant or on medical leave, mentally I know I'm not ready to be out there again. Right now the trauma is swaying my decision far more than how I feel. I'm just not sure yet." Athena didn't tell her about the panick attack she had seeing herself in the uniform again that morning.

"I know you'll make you're decision when you're ready. I don't want to push you or for you to think I'm trying to influence your decision but if you want, pick a day to come down to the station. See familiar faces, get a sense of the place, a change of scenery. Just because you're on medical leave doesn't mean you're not still apart of our family."

"Thank you Elaine." Athena smiled.

"Absolutely." Elaine nodded. "You know how to reach me if you need anything."

Athena shut the door and waved. She walked into the house and smiled. It felt good to be home. "Hello." She called out. Something delicious wafted through the house. "I hope whatever smells good is ready to be eaten." She said walking into the kitchen.

"Hi honey." Bobby kissed her.

"Mm." Athena smiled against his lips. She placed her hand on the back of his head holding his lips against hers. "I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled.

"What do we have here?" Athena looked around the counter. "Bobby?" She questioned. Athena remembered the last time Bobby went on a baking spree.

"I had to do something to keep busy. Blueberry muffins, chocolate scones, and there's cherry pie in the oven."

"I think I'm going to have a ham sandwhich and a scone." Athena decided. "But first I'm going to change."

Bobby was able to resist asking her how the testimony went. He didn't want to overwhelm her. He let her eat without bringing it up. 

"How did it go this morning?" Bobby couldn't resist any longer.

"I think it went fine. The lawyer seemed please so that's good."

"How was it… seeing him?"

"I barely noticed him." Athena admitted. "I kept looking at him when I was waiting, but once I was on the stand I didn't ever glance his way."

"Good." Bobby replied.

"But I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about something else."

"Oh?" Bobby tilted his head.

"Something I said to Elaine earlier got me thinking. I need a vacation."

"Okay." Bobby said slowly not sure what she meant. Did she mean a vacation from him? A family vacation? A romantic getaway in Paris? 

"I think we should go on a babymoon."

"A honeymoon?" Bobby asked. They didn't actually have one of those.

"No I mean a babymoon. It's a thing. I didn't have one with Harry or May, because I really think it's kinda silly, but whatever." Athena explained poorly.

"Hang on, I'm confused. You hate it but you want to do it?"

"I think we need this." Athena told him. "It's a perfect excuse for the two of us to get away for a while and focus on our relationship. We haven't even discussed names or figured out anything. These little ones are a miracle, and I want to celebrate that with the man who made it all possible."

"We're going on a Babymoon." He liked the idea of a vacation away from everything. 

"It's going to be great." Athena told him. "I'm glad you agreed."

'Well I have one condition." Bobby told her. "I need to know why you've been shutting down when I try to touch you or initiate sex." 

Athena glanced down for a moment then looked at him. "I'm sorry."

"You absolutely don't have to apologize." Bobby said firmly. "But you have to talk to me. I can't read your mind. I don't know if I'm making you uncomfortable, hurting you, or triggering you."

"You're not hurting me. You're not triggering me." She paused. "After the attack I needed to heal phyaically before I was ready. And then weeks turned into months and suddenly I had this bump. Since it's been a while and now we have this bump to navigate, it's intimidating for me. I want you, Bobby. I want to have sex with you. I wasn't sure how to tell you, that's all."

Bobby was relieved. He kissed her jubilantly. "I want you too." He winked. "I can't wait for our babymoon." He dropped his hands to her belly, "and I can't wait to meet our little ones.

Athena put her hands on top of Bobby's. "Ours."


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: explicit sexual content

"Why didn't I suggest this sooner?" Athena proclaimed. Shd buried her toes into the warm sand. 

Bobby chuckled from behind her. Athena was laying between his legs her back resting against his chest. "I take it you're comfortable?"

Athena hummed contently. "The sun, the sea breeze, my toes in the sand, and you. What else do I need?"

"I'd suggest a cocktail but"

Athena finished the sentence, "I can't drink." Bobby nodded. "Well instead of a drink I got these two micracles so I'd say I'm doing just fine."

"You are glowing." Bobby commented. Athena tilted her head back. "I know, you don't feel that, but I haven't seen you this happy or relaxed since before the attack. I'm just saying I'm happy you're happy."

"I'm happy that we're here together." Athena replied. "I'm excited for this week of you and me." She looked down at her bump and put her hands on it, "I'm thankful everyday for these two. I've put them through a lot. And It's been stressful for you and Harry and May. I'm sorry about that. I can't change how I've acted in the past, but I am working on being mindful of my behavior."

"We don't blame you or fault you for how you handled your trauma. We all love you and just wanted to support you and be there for you. But I don't want to talk about this now. I want to enjoy the sun and ocean and the sand with you."

"We'll talk later?" She inquired.

"Absolutely." Bobby nodded. 

Athena and Bobby enjoyed a few more relaxing hours on the beach. Finally Athena announced she was hungry. Bobby got to his feet and helped Athena to hers. Athena need help getting up now, although she would mumbled about it, Bobby was all to happy to help. Bobby helped set up Athena's bath and got her settled. Then he ordered room service for them. When Athena called for help getting out of the tub Bobby was at her side in a moment.

Athena pulled her eyes from the window where the sun was setting across the water. She would never get tired of such a view, or the one across the table. Her hot husband looking at her with nothing but love in his eyes. "Sorry." Athena muttered looked down.

"Athena." Bobby squeeed her hand. 

"I don't see it anymore." She said just as quiet as before.

"See what?" Bobby leaned forward in his seat anxious to know what Athena was talking about. 

"Pity. Pain. All the hurt." She gestured with the hand that wasn't clasped in Bobby's at his face. "I used to see it all when I looked at you. It was etched into every feature, Bobby, it was suffocating for me." Athena spoke truthfully. 

Bobby was quiet waiting to see if she was going to say more. When she didn't he replied, "I can't and I won't apologize for that. I know it hurt you. It confused you and for a while you weren't sure why. Then it was a constant reminder to you. Athena, I love you with my whole being. You are my world. This life with you is everything to me. I was scared and I had to work through my own trauma. But here we are." His eyes move down to her large belly then back to her face, "It wasn't easy but we got through it leaning on eachother and yes, pushing away too, but we found our way back to each other in time. Now we are about to welcome two little ones into our family. Their mother amazes me each and everyday with her beauty, grace, and preservance."

"I couldn't do any of this without you Bobby. I wasn't kind to you. I pushed you away. I yelled and screamed. I cried and struggled. Somewhere through the tidal wave of emotions I knew you were waiting on the other side, waiting for me to let you in. Waiting me for me to come back to you. When I thought it was too much, it was you who kept me going. Your love and support and patience. I know I caused you more grief, but it was my process."

"Those babies also have half my DNA. You certainly couldn't have done that without me." Bobby joked.

"No I could not nor would I have wanted to do this with anyone but you." Athena struggled to her feet and walked over to Bobby. He pushed back his chair so she could sit on his lap. Athena cupped his face in her hands, "Robert Wade Nash you are going to be the best father these babies could have." She kissed him.

Bobby felt his hear drop into his stomach, his organs knotted together. He was burstimg with joy that Athena was having their babies, but it also terrified him. A part of him wasn't ready. A part of him was dreading looking down at those two innocent faces as he held them in his arms. As Athena's due date came closer and closer Bobby's fears and panic only intensified. 

"Baby?" Athena had ended the kiss after getting a lack luster response from Bobby. She could see for a moment something behind his soft brown eyes, but when he spoke to her whatever it was, was hidden.

"I was just thinking." Bobby replied with a smile.

"Well I hope you were thinking about taking your very pregnant wife to bed." Athena replied. She knew that wasn't what was on his mind. She could tell when sex was on his mind and that look she had seen in his eyes was not it.

"Finally." Bobby grinned. Then Athena saw the look in his eyes.

"I know I've made you wait and it's been way too long." Honestly Athena had been craving her husband's intimate touch for weeks but she couldn't bring herself to do it. After explaining her concerns to Bobby before their trip, she felt better. She moved to get off his lap but Bobby wouldn't let her go.

"Athena if at any point you want me to stop, tell me. I won't be mad. I know this is going to be new for both of us, but we'll find our chemistry."

"Promise?" Athena let some of her uncertainty show.

"Promise." Bobby nodded. "If all else fails I know this never fails." He wiggled his tongue at her.

Athena laughed and Bobby let her up. Athena wasn't expecting to feel nervous. Afterall how many times had she and Bobby had sex? She trusted him, and loved him, and was certainly attracted to him. It was she who had changed. "Okay I have a confession." Athena sat down on the edge of the bed. Bobby gave her his complete attention. "I've never done this." She averted her gaze from Bobby. Even after all this time her intimacy, or lack there of, with Michael was a sensitive topic for Athena.

"Done what?" Bobby asked gently. He sensed her discomfort but didn't understand. What hadn't she done? Surely she couldn't be talking about sex, so Bobby was confused. 

Athena finally looked at Bobby, "I've never had pregnancy sex." She looked down again feeling embarrassed. "Michael and I barely had enough sex to conceive." Again a topic Athena didn't like to discuss. "Have... have you?" Athena felt like a fool for asking. 

"I have." Bobby replied calmly. 

Athena was relieved he didn't laugh. "Thank you for not laughing at me."

"Baby? Why would I laugh?" Athena shrugged. "Listen, it's not for everyone. If you don't want to-"

"No I do. I really do. Bobby please. We need this." Athena begged. She and Bobby were finding their way back to each other, but this was a huge thing lingering over them. It had been months since they were last intimate, a fact they were both keenly aware of but also understanding of why. Athena believed what she said. They needed this to get past everything that had happened. They needed this to be them again. Not because sex was the most imprtant thing, but it was a big part of who they were as a couple and how they communicated their love.

Bobby saw fear in her eyes. He knew what she was worried about. "Come here." Bobby hugged her. He just held her for a little while before he spoke. "I'm not going to love you any less. I am not going to leave you. I understamd you're body has gone through more than one trauma. I'm right here." He rubbed her back.

"You are also the most patient and understanding person I've ever known. You are human. You have needs Bobby. Needs you have wanted to satisfy for weeks, months!"

"Needs I only want to satisfy with my wife." Bobby said firmly. "When she is ready."

"I have needs too Bobby! And while I may not have been mentally ready to address them. Or able to articulate them. But they're still there. I want this too. Tonight." She assured him. "I just don't know where we start."

"First I want you to be comfortable. Pick a position you're comfortable in and I'll work around that." Bobby told her.

Athena got onto the bed and Bobby helped place a pillow under her hips. "Now what?" She asked.

"Now." Bobby pulled off his shirt. "We do what we do." He winked at her and then removed his pants. Athena watched. She could see his cock already semi-erect. 

Athena pulled open her robe exposing herself to Bobby. She held her breath taking in his reaction. Bobby looked at her with the same look of pure adoration he always gave her. Athena felt herself relax. Bobby really didn't care how her body looked. He loved her unconditionally and unequivocally. When his lips meshed with hers Athena felt like electricty could have crackled around the room. Their needs colliding like thunder in a storm. Once the connection was made both new they weren't going to be able to stop until their needs were finally satisfied. 

"Bobby!" Athena moaned panting slightly from their heated kiss. She couldn't remember a time she'd seen Bobby get hard faster than he just did. Not only did it reaffirm his desire for her, but Athena felt her depths slicken at the sight of her husband rising so quickly. 

"Athena!" Bobby rocked his hips against hers. He was more than ready for her but wanted her to be ready too. 

"Yes Bobby." Athena squealed. Her hormones raged making the waiting unbearable. The only thing she wanted right now was her husband. 

Bobby paused looking at Athena as he finally connected their bodies. Bobby couldn't remember anything feeling so good in his life. He intended to take it slow and gentle their first time, but he was greedy. Once he had a taste of Athena's slick depths he needed her. Bobby buried himself completely inside her. "Fuck Athena!' Bobby moaned. His legs shook. He buried himself inside her again. "Oh God Athena!" He felt her fingers in his hair. Twice more her slammed into her.

"Bobby." Athena's voice made him stop and look down at her. He searched her face for any sign of pain or discomfort but didn't see any. "Do what you need to do." She told him. She knew it was what he needed. Frankly, Athena was more than satisfied watching Bobby take care of his need.

"I love you." He kissed her briefly. 

Athena clawed at Bobby's back while he continued to grunt and pound into her.

"Athena!" Bobby gasped. "Ooooooaaahhh!" Athena felt his load spill inside her. Athena moaned feeling his body shaking on top of hers. 

Bobby did his best not to collaspe on Athena. He slowly regained control of his breath. "Woah." Was the only thought he had.

Athena stroked his hair. It wasn't the romantic intimate sex she was picturing but that doesn't mean it wasn't exactly what they needed. Their connection was still as hot as ever.

"Now it's you're turn." Bobby kissed her cheek.

"Bobby." Athena stopped him as he made to move. Athena knew he was heading down to settle himself between her legs. "If you tease me I will crush you with my fat pregnant thighs."

"I have no intention of teasing you Athena." He said seriously. 

Bobby stayed true to his word. Athena barely had time to take a breath before his lips were around her sex. Athena squirmed. His tongue dipped between her folds.

"Ahh! Bobby!" Athena moaned. She felt a steady stream of desire spill around Bobby's tongue. Of course he licked it all. 

Soon Athena's hips were thrusting in a rhymic way, a sure sign Athena was close. Bobby swiped his tongue around her clit before taking it in his mouth. Bobby sucked until Athena scream.

"Oh oh! Bobby! Fuck! Bobby!" Athena felt her orgasm explode within her, quite sure her pregnancy hormones intensified her pleasure.

Athena was still trembling when Bobby's face emerged from between her legs. Her chest was still heaving.

"Told you my tongue never disappoints." He joked curling up next to her.

"Bobby." Athena moaned, her body still aching pleasurably. "I feel the best I've felt in months."

"Me too." Bobby wrapped his arms around. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is why I prefer writing one shots... I get distracted from chaptered stories easily. Thank you for your patients and enjoy the update.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going to work?" Bobby asked.

Athena sighed. "Bobby you've asked me that before you've left for every shift for two weeks. I'm fine. I'm not due for another month."

"Athena, it's a high risk pregnancy and you're having twins. You know the likelihood of preterm delivery is high. Do I really have to explain this to you?" He didn't mean to snap at her but the stress was getting to him.

"No, because I heard it at least 10 times from the doctor and 50 times from you. I feel fine. May is here. Michael has Harry and he is on speed dial. If anything happens you will be my first call." Athena adjusted her pillow behind her back "And I'm on bed rest. I'm not going anywhere. I'll still probably be on this couch when you get back." At that point May came down stairs, "May tell Bobby to go to work and that we'll be fine." Bobby rolled his eyes.

"I'll take good care of mom. You be safe at work." She said meeting Bobby's gaze. They both missed the change of expression on Athena's face.

"Okay, I'm leaving." Bobby announced dramatically walking up the stairs towards the front door.

"Wait! Bobby!" Athena said loudly. Both May and Bobby looked at her. 

"Athena what's wrong." Bobby didn't like her tone or the silence that followed.

"You're not going to work." Athena said. "We're going to the hospital." 

"May get the bag." Bobby said as he helped Athena off the couch. 

May ran to their bedrooom and got the bag. She hurried outside to get the car ready for Bobby.

"I've got you." Bobby said helping Athena. "Try and stay calm." He was talking to himself as much as her.

May sat in the back. She spent the entire drive looking between Bobby and Athena. Neither of them said much but their body language was speaking volumes. Bobby gripped the wheel. He glanced at Athena every chance he could while still keeping his focus on the road. Athena was sitting very still.

Bobby ran inside to tell someone they needed a wheelchair. He returned with a nurse. May and the nurse helped Athena into the wheelchair. Bobby grabbed the bag. The group made their way to the labor and delivery floor. May waited in the waiting room. She was happy to wait there. Bobby promised to give her an update soon.

  
"Okay, Athena." Doctor Sandoval finished her examination. "I want you to try and relax. We're in no rush right now. Amy here is going going to stay with you and monitor your progress. I'll be back in about half an hour." 

Athena nodded. She didn't have words. She was scared and uncertain. "I'm going to update May." Bobby kissed her head. "I'll be right back."

"Athena, how are you feeling?" Amy asked. 

"I don't know." Athena sucked in a breath.

Amy's eye narrowed at the monitor. "Athena, take a slow deep breath for me." Athena took a shaky break. "Good. And again."

Athena focused on her breath. "I can't do this."

"Yes you can." Amy told her firmly. 

"What was I thinking? I can't. I can't."

"Athena I need you to stay calm." Amy said firmly. "If you--" the rest of her setences was drowned out by a cry from Athena.

"Something wrong.." Athena panicked her eyes widened. Amy paged Dr. Sandoval.

"Amy talk to me." Dr. Sandoval ordered.

"She was having difficulty breathing and then said something felt wrong." While Amy explained Dr. Sandoval examined Athena.

"Everything is okay. But we can't wait. These babies are ready to come out. Now."

Athena shook her head. "No its too early. They can't."

"Athena we're going to take excellent care of you and your babies. But right now we can't wait." Dr. Sandoval told her. She turned to Amy. "Prep the OR and tell the NICU we got two premies coming."

"Where's Bobby?" Athena looked around. "I can't do this with out him."

"Athena." Bobby walked into the chaotic room.

"Bobby we're doing a c-section." Dr. Sandoval told him.

"Bobby." Athena's looked at him. "I can't." Tears were falling down her face.

"Yes you can." He took her hand. "I'll be right here."

"Let's go." Dr. Sandoval.

Athena squeezed Bobby's hand reminding herself he was there with her. Athena still felt alone. He wasn't the one in labor. He wasn't the one about to have two babies pulled from her body. Athena panicked. 

"Athena." Dr. Sandoval spoke gently. We're going to go scrub. Try and breathe. Sandy here will take good care of you."

"Where's Bobby?" Athena realized he wasn't beside her any more.

"He's getting scrubs too. Don't worry he's here." The doctor smiled.

  
"I'm right here." Bobby appeared at her head. Bobby bent down and kissed her head.

"Bobby I'm scared." She whispered.

"I know." Bobby nodded. "You've got a great team of doctors and nurses. You're going to be okay and so are our babies." He tried to be calm but he was also freaking out. This was it. Their babies were coming.

  
"Baby Nash one is a boy." Dr. Sandavol held a crying baby. 

Bobby was gobsmacked. Seeing his son squirming and crying was like nothing he could have imagined.

"Hi momma." A nurse brought the baby into view so Athena could see.

Another cry joined the mix. "And Baby Nash number two is a boy." Another nurse held another bundle.

"Our boys." Bobby kissed Athena's forehead.

"Bobby." Athena was crying overwhelmed with emotions.

"I'm so proud of you." Bobby smiled at her. "You did so good honey. I love you."

"I love you too."

  
Athena was brought to a room and Bobby went to tell May the news.

"Bobby? How's mom? How are the babies?" She jumped to her feet when she saw Bobby.

"Athena is resting now. The doctors had to do a c-section. You have two healthy brothers up in the NICU." Bobby smiled.

May hugged him. "Oh I'm so glad." May, had been worrying. She knew how risky the pregnancy was. "And mom is okay?"

"She's tired and just had major surgery, but she's recovering. I'm going to call Harry then we can go sit with Athena."

"Hey bud." Bobby smiled when Harry picked up the phone. "We're fine." May heard Bobby say to Harry. "May and I are at the hospital. Athena just had the babies." May laughed and Bobby yanked the phone from his ear as Harry squealed.

"Do I have a younger brother?" Harry asked.

"Two." Bobby's smile widened. "We had two baby boys." Harry screamed in delight agan. Bobby assured Harry that he'd get to meet his little brothers soon. Bobby sent off a quick text into the fire family group chat with the news and then led May to Athena's room.

  
"Hey." Athena said sleepily when Bobby and May walked in.

"How are you feeling?" May asked timidly.

"Tired and sore." Athena replied.

Not too much later a nurse came in with the newborns. May got up and cooed over her small little baby brothers. As Athena got ready to to breastfeed May left to get a snack. When she got back each adult was holding a baby.

"Do they have names yet?" May peeked at the baby in Athena's arms.

Athena looked at Bobby. "We have a few idea but haven't quite pinned down names yet."

"Oh I think we have." Bobby looked up from his son's face. He took his another son in his other arm. And turned so both little boys could see their mom. 

"Meet Elijiah Carter Wade Nash and Henry Carter Wade Nash." Bobby felt tears in his eyes as he handed his sons to his wife.

"My sweet boys." Athena cooed. "Welcome to the world.


End file.
